Our Kids are Finalists...

Hi everyone,
Our kids have been chosen as finalists in a photography Contest hosted by JUDE WOOD PHOTOGRAPHY here in PEI.  We would love to have your support to vote for them!  If we win, we will be getting a family photo shoot done of our family - something we haven't done since we adopted Evan almost 3 years ago!  We would love to have a family photo that includes Evan and an amazing foster child who is a special part of our family.

In this contest, whichever picture  has the most "likes" through facebook WINS.  All you have to do is click HERE and then LIKE Jude Wood Photography at the top of her facebook page.  Then scroll down her wall posts until you see the link for "Small Moments that make your life BIG".  Click on it and see all the families entered....our children are the bottom, right hand side.  Click "like" on our photo and you have voted for us.
THANK YOU!!!
Tammy and the gang

Where have the months gone?

So it's obvious I haven't posted in several months. There have been so many times I wanted to write but then just couldn't do it. There are 2 major "things" that have been transpiring since January and I'm not allowed to publicly talk about them. So, it was just easier to not update.

I'm still not able to say much but I do feel a bit of resolution and perhaps a positive outcome can still happen!

Life in general at the MacKinnon house is very good. The kids are great - healthy, happy, doing well in school, getting along together pretty good. Life has been a lot calmer since I left my job at Canadian Blood Services - I am LOVING being home. I am selling Silpada Jewellery and really, really enjoy it. Silpada makes a fine piece of jewellery but best of all it is Fair Trade. I am proud to visit people's home and share our jewellery with them. Click here if you want to read more or are interested in hosting a party. (Great hostess benefits...FREE jewellery).

Chris and I are starting to really experience life with "tweens". All of you out there changing diapers and chasing toddlers around - ENJOY IT! Actually, it's not all terrible. Caleb is an incredible baby sitter for Evan and Alyssa. They love it when he looks after them, jumps on the trampoline with them, reads to them, lets them stay up later than they're supposed to....

It's true that kids begin to think their parents don't know anything. I keep trying to tell Caleb that I am a highly educated, ambitious, motivated and "with-it" adult so I know what I'm talking about. But he's not buying it. Seriously, he thinks he knows more than me!

Dylan is not quite there yet (he's 11) - although he can beat me any day at a game of "Boggle" and just about any other game but I'm still smarter than him. Those games don't matter. I'm still smarter.

Alyssa and Evan are doing great. Alyssa is now part of a competitive gymnastics team and she is so adorable. Every time I watch her do her little mat routine I want to cry. So, so sweet. Evan has come so far. We have noticed many changes in his behavior (for the better) in the last 6 months. He is much more settled, seems more calm. He used to be so antsy it was like he was trying to get out of his own skin. Sometimes we couldn't hug him or be close to him, he just couldn't handle it. Much, much better now. He still talks about China all the time. Still longs to see his "mama and baba" in China. Is nervous that he won't be able to go back to China because he forgets a lot of the language. Still insists China is better in every way. Their fish is better. Their cheese is better. Their rice and noodles are better. ALL food in China is way better than ours. But, he did tell me the other day there was one thing better about Canada than China - his family. He is so precious. And really, that's the most important thing anyway so I'm glad (almost 2 years later) he is able to say he is happy with his Canadian family! :-)

There may be some exciting news to share down the road.....would love to spill it but it may be premature so I'll wait. Don't want to jinx anything.

I tried to get the camera to upload some pics from Mother's Days but my boys have once again claimed it. They love to make movies with our camera and every time I go to use it the batteries are dead. Then when I get it working again, I download tons of footage of zombie and vampire movies starring my children and their friends. Fake blood and everything. Life. You just never know where it will take you.

What's up?

It's totally time for an update! SO much has been happening...I was going back through the blog and it's been kinda "deep" hasn't it? And no real update on the family or any pictures. Hmmmm, I've been negligent. :-(

All the kids are doing great! It's hard to believe only 37 more days of school and then SUMMER BREAK! I can't wait! I resigned from my job at Canadian Blood Services and finished up on April 1st. Now I am home and LOVING it. Seriously, life has just sort of settled down. Much less chaos. More time hanging out together. Just all around better.

"As I turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat

This wind is blowing my mind!

I see the kids in the street with not enough to eat

Who am I to be blind, pretending not to see their needs?"

~Lyrics from "Man in the Mirror"~

These are some common phrases I hear when discussing helping others -whether about adoption, giving financially, being involved in service trips, spending $$ on ourselves rather than helping others, etc...

"You can't save them all"

This one bothers me the most. Like it's an excuse to not even try. People tell me this all the time - usually when I'm talking about wanting to adopt again or if I tell them about specific children who need to be adopted before they lose their chance. Are people forgetting we are talking about living, breathing human beings? Helpless, hopeless, innocent children? So, we can't save 147 million orphans so we should ignore them and carry on with our own "blessed" lives. Like somehow it's our right to have a great life but not the orphans' right.

It would be interesting to see the people who say this during a time when their child's life was at stake.

"I work hard so I deserve to enjoy my money" (and all the materialistic things it can buy)

Okay, a little perspective. In North America we work in heated/air conditioned buildings (depending on season), if we work outside, we alter our work schedule with the seasons so we are not left out in the elements for hours on end, we work 7.5 hour days with 2 coffee breaks and a 1/2 hour lunch break (usually taken in fully equipped lunch rooms), people who work 12 hour shifts are compensated by getting more days off so they still only work the 37.5 hour work week, those who work longer hours or more days can do so at their own choice and with compensation, most jobs offer vacation time, sick time, personal days, mental health days, we also have the option of taking days off and not being fired, sometimes we are offered health insurance, free uniforms, free or discounted merchandise at the place we work, RRSP options, life insurance, sometimes employees even get free vehicles to drive around, housing allowances, food allowances, all-expense paid trips and certainly tax breaks for all our hard work!

In India right now there are men and women who are digging a lake - they are paid pennies to build this lake everyday. Guess how they are building it? With their hands. This is the truth. They are digging the lake with their hands! For pennies! For long, long hours every single day.

In poor countries all around the world there are children as young as age 5 who are working in fields for 14 hours a day. Every day. They will not go to school to be educated to get a better job.

In countries around the world there are children, both boys and girls, as young as age 4 who are being sold into the sex trade. They are made to "service" men with sex. As young as age 4. Every day they are forced to perform sex acts with adults. And other people are making money off these children.

Men and women in Third World countries work 14-16 hours every single day in sweatshops, making as little as $1/day. They work in disgusting, dirty and unsafe places to make $1/day.

Children in Guatemala (and may other countries) spend every day digging through garbage dumps looking for small items they can sell so they can feed themselves.

Oh yes! Here in North America we sure work hard for our money, don't we!

"I give money to charity, what more can I do?"

Giving money is easy. Usually when we give money, we give it when we've taken care of ourselves and we've bought all the little "extras" we want. Then, if there's a bit left over we'll pass it on to a charity and feel like we've done our part. When do we give when it's a sacrifice on our part? Imagine if we gave $2000 and sacrificed our yearly vacation trip? Imagine if we gave $20,000 and sacrificed having a 2nd vehicle? Imagine if we gave $75/month and gave up our cable? Imagine if we gave up $100/month and didn't eat out once at a restaurant? But those are the things we love! We want to do those things! It is much more difficult to give when it means we go without something.

Giving money is a start. But giving money doesn't change a person. Loving, caring and interacting personally with others is what changes us. When Jesus tells us to "Love One Another" and to "Love Your Neighbor", I believe He means for us to love them personally, not with cash.

I am so guilty of all of this. There are days where I am so selfish and want new things for my house or I dream of going down south and getting a break (because my life is so hard, right?!), or I want to eat out because I love food and it's easier than making a big meal at home, I want to buy my kids the latest name brands because surely they'd fit in better, and on and on and on....

None of those selfish wants is God's desire for my life. He has asked us to love Him and love others. He did not ask me to love things. He didn't say it would be the easy way, He said it would be hard. But He said it would be the way full of hope, redemption and joy!

I truly want to stop thinking it's my right to have everything that is available to me - I want to choose others over selfish wants!

"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for the least of these brother’s of mine, you did not do for me.’

Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

~Matthew 25~

Hi friends!
This is an URGENT plea. The two boys listed below are little cuties from Reece's Rainbow. They are both very, very close to turning 4 and need families before they do. They live in a very poor area and all children at their orphanage are transferred on their 4th birthday. They will be transferred to an institution that cannot give them even the basic necessities for living. 80% of the children who are transferred die within the first year. This is not to be dramatic...this is the truth and reality for these children. PLEASE won't you consider these boys? Please spread the word and let the adoption community know of these two precious children. Paper ready families are ideal because there is such a time constraint...BUT if you are interested (and not paper ready), PLEASE contact Andrea immediately!

Don't forget these children....

Dennis (9)

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BOY, Born March 18, 2006

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Dennis has lost his family at the 11th hour, and is in crisis need of a paper-ready, USCIS approved family to save him from an institution he can't be adopted out of.

Dennis is a darling little boy with blonde hair and big blue eyes. He is not very active, and he struggles with pulmonary artery stenosis and rickets. He needs to get HOME, so he can have adequate medical care, sunshine, nutrition....so he really has a chance to achieve his true potential. He is an orphanage favorite, but he won't survive a transfer to the institution. Please consider rescuing this munchkin!!

Regrettably, this orphanage is one of the poorer ones, with very little outside aid and very little hope. All of the children are tiny and undernourished. These children are immediately transferred at 4, and have little chance of survival where they are sent. All of our waiting children need families, but these have a critical need. Please consider one of these children soon!!

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Dennis has a grant of $5000 for the family who chooses this little sweetie!!!

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The most difficult part is that Dennis is literally WEEKS from transfer to the institution, one he can not be adopted out of. We are desperately seeking a paper-ready, USCIS ready family who would be willing to specifically request him so he can be saved. Other photos available, we have had several families adopt from this orphanage previously as well.

ALEC

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BOY, Born June 2, 2006

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Baby Alec....goodness, even at 3, he is still so much a baby. Alec is HEALTHY, with no heart condition. He does struggle with rickets (lack of Vitamin D), which can be helped once home. It is critical to get him home so his bones are not permanently damaged from it. He has also has cryptorchidism. This can often be corrected with surgery (if just undescended). He needs a mama who can love him and hold him and not leave him sitting all day long. He needs SUNSHINE!!

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Regrettably, this orphanage is one of the poorer ones, with very little outside aid and very little hope. All of the children are tiny and undernourished. These children are immediately transferred at 4, and have little chance of survival where they are sent. All of our waiting children need families, but these have a critical need. Please consider one of these children soon!!

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Alec has a grant of $5000 for the family who chooses this amazing little boy!

An amazing ministry in Haiti....read updates on what is happening in Haiti...next time we grab a glass of water or we give our children a hug, say a prayer for the suffering in Haiti!

CLICK HERE to donate to Cry Haiti (Canadians can get an income tax receipt too, but really at this point, who cares!)

I've also added a button on the right hand side to donate financially through another organization "Compassion".

Other important news from Haiti:

HAITIAN PRESIDENT RENE PREVAL HAS GIVEN PERMISSION FOR ALL CHILDRN IN THE ADOPTION PROCESS TO LEAVE HAITI AND JOIN THEIR "FOREVER" FAMILIES IN THEIR ADOPTIVE COUNTRIES!

Not only is this great news for families waiting for their children, it means more orphans can be taken in by these orphanages and get the care they really, really need right now.

So much help and prayer is needed!

Here she is....

Here is the little darling that captured my heart. No denying she is precious, that's for sure.

The reality is this: this little one needs a family. You can see by reading her profile below that she is going to be transferred soon to another institution (for severely disabled children - which she is not!). She will turn 6 in June and that's when she will be transferred.

I believe God wants a family for this little girl. I'm not sure if He is leading us to her or is only using us to find her a family.

Cara (and ALL the children through Reece's Rainbow) have an adoption fund set up to

financially help families who might be interested in adopting. Cara currently has $210 in her fund. If you want to donate to her fund or to any child's fund just click HERE and scroll down to her name or any child you wish to donate to. Sometimes a family would truly love to adopt and has the love and support to give a child but they simply do not have the money available to them to adopt. This is why Reece's Rainbow offers adoption funds for the children - in hopes that it will help families be able to adopt these amazing children.

I would love to ask you to pray for Chris' heart, that God would change it and he would be open to adopting Cara. But, that would be purely selfish on my part and this is not about me. So,

instead, please, please pray for little Cara and that her family, the one God has chosen for her will find her quickly! (and maybe even Mary Margaret, too! Read below...)

CARA

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Look at this little doll baby!

Cara is HEALTHY, and quite high functioning. She is very active and happy and affectionate. She will

be a wonderful addition to any family. We are seeking a family quickly for both her and Mary Margaret, as

they are both nearing the time when they must be transferred to the home for

severely disabled children (no other place to go). This beauty was abandoned at

birth, and has been living at the children's home since that time.

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From her caregivers: Emotionally: She has a high self esteem, very social, calm and

cooperating with others, loves and enjoyes life. Very positive for her age, and is always smiling. She receives therapy

at the CREE and goes to the Rafael Arganiz School where she receives special treatment

for Down syndrome.

Cara is in the same orphanage with Mary Margaret, and both

girls could be adopted together.

Meet little Miss Mary Margaret

Who will you love?

In light of my last post I feel crazy for writing this....

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I was looking through a photolisting of waiting children and my heart stopped as I saw a picture of a precious little girl with down syndrome. I looked through TONS of photos and read the children's profiles and my heart ached for each child. But nothing like what happened when I saw this particular child. I'm not sure what it was....she's beautiful (but so are all the other children), and initially maybe it's because I thought she looked like our sweet, sweet Alyssa Li. Let's just say I haven't felt even a stirring of this much longing since the day we downloaded Evan's picture and saw him for the first time.

Okay...so I got excited and showed Chris her picture. Yes, my heart was pounding and I was really hoping Chris would get the same vibes as me. But, he didn't. And I wasn't the least bit surprised. He said "She's cute but we are NOT adopting again". Okay...so not to sound flippant (and I mean that!) but I have heard that line before! Past experience has shown me his "No" can turn into a "yes" and it did - twice! Really, 3 times if you consider that together we made a decision to keep our current foster child long term (for us, this means making a commitment to be her family in every way). He has opened his life and his home to care for this foster child.

So, do we have a lot on our plate? Absolutely. Do we have a house full of kids that sometimes takes up every ounce of our energy? Absolutely. Do we already struggle to find time to spend with each child? Absolutely. Are we challenged with very difficult issues in some of our children?

Absolutely.

I know all this. It doesn't change the fact that I saw a picture and felt a deep stirring and longing in my heart. Whether this child will ever be ours or if she will find another family, there is a stirring that I cannot ignore and I can't sit back and do nothing.

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Which of the children does Jesus love the absolute most? Which ones are the most precious in His sight? Which child does Jesus ache for and love with a love so filled with compassion?

Each and every single one of them! He doesn't only love the most beautiful. The most healthy. The most well behaved. The most "adjustable". The most endearing. He loves each and every single child the same. Because each child is HIS child. Like Alyssa, Evan, Caleb and Dylan are OUR children. I truly believe we are to have that same love for each and every child. ("love your neighbour as yourself"...read THIS amazing post and scroll down to Nov 20, 2009)

This is what I've come to learn...this life, this moment in time that is called my life (because let's face it, 100 hundred years ago no one knew of me and in 100 years, no one will remember me) is not about me. It's not about my children and it's not about any children out there needing a family. It is ONLY about Christ and glorifying His Name. Loving and honoring Him. So, every reason we can think of NOT to adopt is about us. Not about Him.

Does our house have enough room for another child? Absolutely. (especially now that we've started the renos) Do we have the capacity to love another person, another child? Absolutely. Do we have the resources in PEI to raise a child with Down Syndrome? Absolutely. Does Jesus call

us to love our neighbour as ourselves? Absolutely.

"Whatever you did for the least of these, you have done for me" (Matt. 25:46)

But again, I'm not saying we are going to adopt. But now that I know about these precious children, I cannot sit back and pretend they don't exist or don't need families. So, my friend and I are thinking of ways we can advocate for these children and raise money to help families adopt

them. There will be MUCH more to come on this...we are working on the details of a new website and then we will spread the word about it!

I encourage you...challenge you to start thinking, dreaming, hoping, longing, wishing, praying about these children, maybe one or two are waiting for you!

The site is REECE's RAINBOW - Canadians CAN adopt these children. If you see a child that you are interested in, email the contact info listed with that child. You can see photos and read their profiles. These children come from Ukraine, Russia, China, Tawain, Serbia, India, Haiti and several other countries. Canadians CAN adopt them!! There are many agencies in Canada who will help families adopt from several different countries.

Click HERE right now to see the amazing children who are waiting.....

A New Year, A New Day, A New Hope

I'm taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly....

The buildup to Christmas was not the happy and relaxed time with family that I had earnestly hoped for...our life is too busy to even enjoy moments like these with the kids. 2 days before Christmas and on Christmas day, I just cried. I regretted everything th

at took me away from enjoying my children during such a special time of year. The build-up, the anticipation always has such high expectation and I felt like I failed miserably. I know for certain if you asked the children they would happily exclaim that Christmas was "great" and "fun". I've even heard a couple of them declare "this was the best Christmas ever!".

But I guess I had high expectations for myself and what I wanted to "accomplish" this season - I had big plans of baking authentic Chinese and Colombian food to honor the cultures in our home, I planned to have some quiet evenings watching our favorite Christmas movies and eating christmas candy and treats, I envisioned taking all the kids downtown to walk through the light display and then getting hot chocolate and laughing together....

I'm going to be honest...raising 5 kids takes A LOT of time and energy. Sometimes I deny

this to myself and truly make myself believe that I can do everything I did when we had 2 children. When we had 2 children I owned my own business and worked the hours I chose, my husband worked 1 job and our children were young and weren't in any extra curricular activities...fast forward to now....I have 2 jobs, my husband works 2 jobs, we are full time foster parents and all 5 children are involved in one activity (does hockey count as one activity when it's 5 nights a week???) So, technically, I should be giving myself a break...lowering my expectations a little, right?! But, I didn't. I made myself believe I was superwoman and could do it all.

Christmas Eve we had a big party with our friends and family...this is how crazy my day was...when people arrived at 7:00 I didn't even have the punch made or any of the appetizers ready, no food out for people to munch on. I did, however, have 5 additional

children who were beyond excited and extremely adorable!!!! Hours before our party I found out about 8 children who didn't have anyone to help them celebrate Christmas...our 5 kids each picked one of the children (I got 3 children and the mom!) and we headed to town to buy some Christmas gifts. We also invited the children to our home to celebrate Christmas Eve with us...only 5 could come as the others were too young to come to our home without their mom.

That was the highlight of our Christmas. Beautiful, precious little things who LOVED having gifts to put under their Christmas tree, kids who begged to come back to our house for more play time (and how could I refuse them?) and the next day we spoke to them and heard how happy they were with their 2 gifts each. A lesson for all of us...

So, the authentic Chinese and Colombian baking did not get done, we did not watch many Christmas movies (just Elf) and we most certainly did not make it down to the light show and drink hot chocolate.

After Christmas day, though, we DID manage to get some down time...all the children's activities shut down for Christmas break - except hockey but we LOVED watching Dylan and Caleb play in the tournament (and rink fries are really tasty!)...we had my parents come for a visit, I had 2 different families over for visits, we watched lots of movies (we even watched 2 in one day!), we had time to play games with the kids - like seriously, I can't remember when I had the leisure of sitting and playing games. I know this should be a "normal" thing to do in a family but the last year has proven to be anything but normal for us.

So, now it's 2010...a new year, every day will be a new day, with new hope....

We are making changes to help set the mood for 2010....

1. I resigned from my job at Canadian Blood Services...less money but hopefully more sanity!

2. We have been dealing with some challenges with a couple of our children...fostering and adopting has many challenges...for us, facing the reality of this and then doing everything in our power to get the right support has been vital...we feel better equipped now t

hat we know what these challenges entail and ways to work through them so each child can reach his/her full potential.

3. A few renovations to our home which will provide adequate space and a comfortable living area so ALL OF US can remain sane under this small roof! :-)

4. A new attitude that each and every child that lives in my home (now and in the future) is God's child and although I do not have the energy and patience to endure my crazy life, God absolutely does.

So, here we go...into 2010.

Happy New Year everyone!

*Note: Unfortunately I can't add pics right now...most of the pictures I took over Christmas include our foster child as well as the other children and I'm not able to post a foster child's picture online.

We're All In This Together

The last few months have been challenging for me personally. I am longing to live a life that is radical....I find it so hard to do here. Our society just doesn't get "it". By "it" I mean the heartache and hurt of people all around us - heartache and hurt that we have the capacity to CHANGE, to make a DIFFERENCE. People here seem so complacent, content to live in their own bubble. Our society only wants to hear about something if it can benefit them; what's the best car to drive, the newest sound system, the latest technology, the biggest house, the coolest renovations, the hottest name brand....

I cannot get my head around this mindset of greediness and selfishness. Sometimes I want to be like that. Sometimes I find myself thinking "if only I had this, if only I had that"....and I have to give my head a shake!

The 5 children in our home represent 3 different countries. 3 of my children came to me broken, grieving and suffering more loss than anyone should in a lifetime. My babies. My sweet, precious little babies (no matter what age they are!). What if we had turned our hearts against hearing about orphans? What if we made a choice to get a bigger house rather than paying for our adoptions? What if we had chosen to turn away from the truth of people's pain, brokenness and lonliness so that we could just carry on with our blissfully happy life?

People, I wouldn't have 3 of my sweet, precious, little babies! My babies. They wouldn't be here. They wouldn't be filling my heart to near bursting with gratitude for their presence in my life every single day! I would not be inspired to be a more caring and loving person. I would not look into their faces every day and see the amazing miracle of their lives! Living and breathing right here in our house. The essence of Christ's love living right under my roof.

I encourage you. I challenge you. Please choose to live a radical life. Love Jesus so fully that you can't help but have His love spill over and touch another person's life.

Recipes!

Our family represents 3 different countries and we love to try out foods from around the world. I am not the best cook but every now and then I brave a new recipe to try and incoporate some culture into our eating!

This recipe comes from Columbia and our family's newest member made it for me today...it was actually quite delicious!!!

POTATO and EGG SOUP

Slice up a 5-6 potatoes in a pot.

Add water just to cover the potatoes.
Add about the same amount of milk as water.

Bring to boil and cook until potatoes are soft.

Add salt and pepper.

Make sure the heat is turned down to medium and crack 3 eggs into the pot (on top of the potato soup mixture) DO NOT STIR in the eggs...you want the eggs to stay whole, like a fried egg. Let the eggs cook in the hot soup for about 5 mintues.

Serve it up! Makes about 3-4 servings.

If you have a recipe from around the world to share, please leave it in the comments section or send me an email!!!

Also, this is a great website filled with recipes from countries that allow international adoptions. Click on over and try out some of these cultural delights to help celebrate National Adoption Month!

Here is a calendar link that gives ideas of something to do EACH day of NOVEMBER to celebrate National Adoption Month...It's got some great links and ideas...be sure to check it out!



Check out the Magazine...






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There are some neat tips and ideas on scrapbooking your adopted child's memories, their lifestory and their everyday life with you! Click HERE to read more!

National Adoption Month

November is here....after a crazy busy last week of October! 3 of our children had birthdays last week - we had 4 parties and then all the Halloween fun - carving pumpkins, decorating the house with spooky things, finding costumes for everyone and then the actual trick or treating. WHEW!

Moving on to November....
November is National Adoption Month! I would LOVE to hear feedback from everyone on ways you've been touched by adoption, adoption moments, adoption blogs, great adoption books or anything and everything that has to do with adoption. Throughout the month I'm going to be adding some adoption tidbits on my blog...quotes, statistics, blogs, books, resources, etc....

If you are an adoptive parent, an adopted child, social worker, teacher, friend, anyone who has something to share about adoption, leave it in the comment section. If you have an adoption blog, please leave the link and I'll post it on my blog!

More later,
Tammy

Dance on...

WOW...obviously everyone who reads this blog knows how personally attacked I felt by Ms. Anonymous (Ms. Sonshine??) and her comments. Just plain mean and spiteful. But, since those nasty comments, a few things have happened....

1. My friend, M wrote the most incredible comment (posted in yesterday's comment section) that brought tears to my eyes. She is someone who knows me to my deepest level...the good, the bad and the ugly. And even though she has seen the "ugly" in me, she knows my heart and what a wonderful message she left for me. It truly restored me.

2. Reading the encouraging and kind comments from you guys...thank you!!!! It is such a boost to have people stick up for me and you guys made me feel so much better!

3. My husband asked me why I was letting Ms. Anonymous get to me - he said our life, our family, our journey is so much bigger than her nasty comments. He told me I didn't need to write anything in response to her comments, I have no reason to justify or to clarify for her. Nothing like a logical man to bring me down from my emotional high horse!

4. A lady called me on the phone last night....literally someone we have not seen or heard from personally in 3 years. She called me to specifically ask me how all our children were doing and to tell me what an amazing family we were (whether that's true or not, it is nice to hear!). She encouraged me for over 1/2 hour telling me how blessed our children were, how we would be blessed and how surely God is looking favorably on us for how we are caring for His children. She called me without even having a clue what was going on in my life or what had been written on this blog (she doesn't read the blog). Isn't that incredible??? The timing was miraculous.

5. After reading Ms. Anonymous' comments, I browsed other blogs that I sometimes find comfort in. One of them is called "A Life of Simplicity". This family has 9 adopted children and the mom truly "gets" it....adoption is not about how big (or small) your family is, it is about specific children, each one as amazingly special and worthy as another. I went to this post - crazy how she was writing EXACTLY what I was being criticized for!!!!!!! It was a God thing, I'm sure.

And to sum it all up, everything our family bases our choices on is this quote:

And really, I have to come back to the fact that we sing and dance for an audience of ONE - Jesus Christ – the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords – the lover, protector and defender of orphans – OUR Miracle-working, Mountain-moving, Awe-inspiring, Gasp-giving God whom we praise with all our might, day and night!! He is the only one we sing and dance for. He will, Lord willing, one day say: “Well done thou good and faithful servant. You were faithful with little. You were faithful when I gave you much. I am pleased with you.”

Oh my goodness....I am so thankful that all of these incidents helped me bring my focus back on what is really important...honoring Christ by loving His little children.

To answer my own question....

What are our family's thoughts on raising children from different cultural backgrounds?

I think both Chris and I would agree that it is challenging to raise culturally different children in a community and province that is primarily caucasian. We "think" we are preparing our children and we are trying to read as much and prepare as much but in reality, we have no idea what we will face in the next 5-20 years with our children. I may "think" I'm doing things right because I'm teaching my children about their culture, showing them their country and educating them on their traditions and history. But, even in doing all this, we will never be able to understand what it means to lose a birth culture, to constantly wonder about birth families but have no way to get answers, to feel like we don't fit in completely here in Canada nor do we fit in completely in our homeland. Will I know when my child is hurting from being the only asian? the only african? the only south american? When it's time, will I be able to let them go to "find themselves" in their birth countries if that's what they chose. Will I be strong enough to accept that it's not a slight against me if they choose to pursue their birth families or culture? That their anger and hurt may be directed at us because we thought we could give them everything they needed but instead we took them from everything they had?

Do I think children should be placed in similar cultural backgrounds/religion? Actually, I do. If a child can be cherished and loved in a family of similar background then I think they have the right to grow up learning and embracing their cultures first hand.

I am also of the mindset that children can certainly thrive and become happy, well adjusted adults growing up in families that are not of the same cultural background. Obviously, if there is no other choice, a child should go with a family of any cultural background if they will be loved, protected, cherished and safe. I also think past bonds can play a big part in what is best for a child. If a child already has strong, healthy attachment to a family or person, then it would be best to strengthen that bond. Do you know there are thousands of children who go through their life without having any healthy attachments? It is so sad. And if a family from another culture can provide a child with a healthy attachment, then so be it.

Obviously I'm a strong advocate for adoption. I love adoption and what it has done for our family. But I don't kid myself...adoption presents many, many challenges. Our family's responsibilities to our adopted children are so much more than simply loving them. I'm also a strong advocate for families staying together. Probably more so now that we've adopted than before. Through fostering, we've realized how important the birth connection is to a child (even when the birth connection is not good). Children crave a birth connection...they want to know on some level that their birth parents loved them and wanted them. So, there are tons of cases where keeping families together and providing supports for them to be together is best.

Oh, there are no easy answers, that's for sure. I think the bottom line for me is, I truly, truly believe all children need and deserve to be loved by a family. To be protected, safe and cherished by someone.

Even though some may think our family is too big or too overwhelming, I really believe we will continue fostering and adopting as long as there is a need. It is difficult, it is overwhelming and exhausting, yet every day I see the miracle of the children living in my home. How could I not want to be part of more miracles???

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"No one said it would be easy....they just said it would be worth it" (on having children)

Thank you to those who answered my question in the last post. It is a controversial issue and there certainly isn't a right answer or simple answer. I know Chris and I will have to "face the music" with Alyssa and Evan (and any other child we may adopt) in the future as they struggle to figure out all the "whys"....why were they abandoned, why didn't their parents want them enough, why were they taken from everything they knew, why were they raised in an all-white community, etc...

What do you think?

Ontario has a mandate to place children who are available for adoption into homes with similar cultural backgrounds.

Even though I may have lived with a particlar child and created a bond, our family would be overlooked so the child could live in a family with an african background, practicing the Muslim religion.

What do you think?

Is it fair to discriminate based on cultural backgrounds and religious beliefs?

Or, if 2 families can love a child equally, is it truly best for a child to be raised in the family who shares their cultural roots and religious beliefs?

There are no right or wrong answers but it is an interesting topic to discuss and obviously this is important to our family as we are currently raising 3 children from different cultural backgrounds.

I'd love to hear your points of view.

And that's That!

Visit with little one was really, really great. Exactly as I remembered little one to be...full of joy, smiles, laughter and still LOVES to chatter and talk. Why is my life always filled with children who LOVE to talk, incessently, all the time???? (Okay, okay...so I love to talk too!)

I'm going to call little one "N" in this post...it's easier than writing "little one".

N seemed very happy. This is good....I want N to be happy. I think there was part of me hoping N wasn't happy so I could wisk N away and make N happy. N told me, "I love my life". Is it possible for a heart to break while it is also filled with relief and happiness? I truly, truly want N to be happy. I am sad because N can be happy without us. But that's okay.

It seems there will be no movement on the adoption side of things for at least another year or more. Each day that passes, N becomes more settled in life, more attached to the family N lives with. And that's the way it should be.

What do I feel?

If I'm brutally honest, I feel disappointed...disappointed that the courts have and still continue to take so long with this case. I'm disappointed that as each month passes, our family's chance at this particular adoption gets smaller and smaller.

Again, being brutally honest, I feel sad. Sad that N is able to be so happy and live so wonderfully without us. I KNOW N misses us very much. N told me that and N's social worker told me that.
N talked a lot about our family, the memories, missing the house, the bedroom, the bed, the trips we took, the funny things that happened. N talked about the kids and if they remembered N...N seemed wistful when talking about life at the MacKinnon house. I think N would be very happy to come back to us and I think N would be very happy to stay in the new home.

I feel relieved to have finally gotten some answers! I was able to meet with N's social worker who was a wonderful, lovely lady. I could tell right away how much she cared about N and that she was advocating for N's life. The social worker was honest with me, answered all my questions, and although some of those answers were hard to hear, I needed to know. I needed to know after 12 months of wondering, hoping, praying, crying, being torn inside....

The visit was awesome. N was awesome. We are now able to have open communication with each other...we can send letters, make phone calls, send care packages and we have an open invitiation to visit N whenever we like. And although that isn't what I had been hoping for, praying for, it is what I will settle for. I have been given the opportunity to still share in N's life...this is very good.

So, I will go back home to my 5 beautiful children who need me, who I can be "mom" to. Back to my husband and back to my life. We will send letters and fun things to our little one, we will talk on the phone and if by some miracle, little one is meant to be ours, she will come home to us - all in good time.

And that's that.

Today is the big day!

Well, I'm here. I've traveled to see my little one and our visit is in just a few short hours. Butterflies and nerves! I have no idea what to expect but I am exited! I've waited 12 months for this day so no matter what happens, I will have gotten to see little one, play with little one, hugged little one and talked with little one. It will be a good day!

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumblebee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential and fight for your dreams."

The truth of the matter...

Over the years I've heard lots of practiced, experienced parents tell me "it will get easier". You know, when you're exhausted from night feedings, running after toddlers all day, dealing with temper tantrums, lack of adult interactions, etc....etc...etc....

Parents always told me "Don't worry, it gets easier". Well, here I am 5 children later and I'm seriously not finding it any easier. No, I don't have to change diapers all day, no I don't have to get up in the middle of the night (except for the odd nightmare), no I don't have to watch my children with an eagle eye every second of the day so they don't hurt themselves, BUT I am still not feeling like my life is easier.

Now I am talking to my children about drugs because their friends got "busted" at Jr. High. I'm talking to my children about love and caring for another person and how to treat the opposite gender with respect and gentleness. I'm answering questions about first kisses and talking the "sex talk" with my kids. I'm dealing with different learning levels - where one child excels academically and one doesn't. I'm dealing with a child's emotional turmoil and trying to develop trust and safety. I'm trying to teach my children about diversity and accepting & embracing the differences all around us. Dealing with my own anger when people are hurtful and ignorant about our differences. Trying to build self esteem, value and worth in each and every one of my children. I'm trying to give each child my individual time; special moments that only we share. Teaching my kids what happiness and love really means. Teaching there is MORE to life than materialism and "stuff". Teaching compassion and gentleness. All the while I am in the midst of breaking up fights, homework overload, wiping tears, kissing hurts (and wishing I could simply kiss away those emotional hurts), packing lunches, peeling 8 pounds of pototoes (for one meal!), hockey practices, hockey tryouts, dance lessons, speech therapy sessions, hospital visits, getting 2 boys fitted for braces, working, reading stories, taking calls from teachers at school, finding ways to handle some behavioral issues, and once again.....after all these years, I'm still falling into bed exhausted.

It has not gotten easier.

Take a deep breath....

After 12 months and 16 days, I have been given permission to visit my little one. Little one lives away, in another province and I am finally able to visit. Haven't seen or talked to little one in more than 1 year. I am breathless...my heart is beating out of my chest....