And one last time....

We DO NOT have the Swine Flu!

Seriously, our family is getting harrassed about spreading the Swine Flu to everyone we come in contact with! Even the kids are having trouble with this at school - no joke! I find this very insulting...do people really think I wouldn't be cautious about this considering we were just in Mexico 7 days ago? I do listen to the news and I've heard EVERYTHING there is to know about this flu.

Just to reassure all the harrassers out there - we have talked with our family doctor, we have gone to ch'town's "swine flu clinic", we have called the 1-888 number for PEI Public Health, specifically set up to screen people about this flu, and finally, the Chief Medical Advisor of PEI (that would be Dr. Lamont Sweet) has declared our family is NOT at risk, we do NOT need to be tested, we are NOT spreading germs to anyone and we are SAFE to be around.

So, please...end of story.

How far would you go?

The little child I spoke of a few posts ago is constantly on my mind. It's strange to be pursuing an adoption, yet we are not really officially "adopting". I can't go around sharing where we are in the process (we aren't anywhere in the process) yet this child is on all our hearts (our children know about this child).

I can say we are actively pursuing this particular child. We are adamant this child deserves us to push, advocate, inquire, ask questions, pray for, love. I was thinking today what lengths we (people in general, not just us) will go to bring a child home. At this point, Chris and I could start our next adoption - officially. It's been 10 months since we adopted Evan so we are now far enough along to update our homestudy, choose a country and get on board the adoption roller coaster. But, we are so adamant in our pursuit of this particular child that we will not start another "official" adoption. How far, how long will we continue to pursue? Honestly, until we are left with absoutely no options to adopt this child. As I mentioned earlier, May is a big month as this is when (hopefully!) decisions might be made in regards to the child's "adoptability".

I wish I could share a bit of what this journey has been like for me, someday I hope I can write it all out. It's hard not to share adoption news or to share when there isn't any. It's hard to not seem too eager, too desperate but yet put enough pressure to get things started. It's so hard to not be able to communicate with this child, to let he/she know how much he/she is already loved & cherished, how much we are all advocating for his/her life.

I keep listening to the song "Gotta Be Somebody" by Nickelback - I know this child feels exactly what this song is saying...I wish I could let him/her know we are their "Somebody". Please, please pray for the court date in May.

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
'Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know their not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be someone for me out there

Hot Hot Hot!

WOW! We are loving Mexico and having a great time with the kids! It is HOT! Evan says he wants to go home because it's too hot! This is the same kid who spent the winter telling us he wanted to go back to China because he was too cold! You seriously can't please that kid! (Those who know Evan personally know exactly what I'm talking about :-))

The kids are having a blast - there are big waterslides (scary, dark tunnel ones!), smaller waterslides, a kids pool, games room, kids club...lots of restaurants...the older boys are LOVING that they can get drinks whenever they want and you will often see them walking around the pool with the Mango Tango drinks.

I have a story I want to share...it may mean absolutely nothing but it also may mean everything...if you've been reading the blog you know Chris and I are struggling with what to do about sending our children to a mainly caucasian school (very few visible minorities)...we are getting different opinions on the subject and that's great because it gives us lots to think about and lots of ideas to consider! BUT, here at our resort there are a few Asian families (maybe 3 or 4 families). All the kids have been making friends each day as they play (gotta love that about kids, right!). Anyway...Evan has been playing/talking with lots of different kids but last night he told me he had made his first "friend" in Mexico. I asked him who it was and he showed me an Asian boy about 9 years old. Although he had played and laughed and talked with many other children (all caucasian) he declared his first "friend" to be the little boy who was Asian. Like I said, could be nothing but it could also be very telling. Do I believe Evan will have lots of caucasian friends - absolutely! It's just that for him, he is more typically drawn to Asian people and he relates to them in a different way than non-asian people/children. He is extremely aware of his chinese heritage, he is proud to be from China (and would like to move back) and he is most connected to China (in comparison to Alyssa). So, maybe for him, he would feel more connected, would fit in better, would feel less different if he was in a school with peers of Asian descent????

Anyway...food for my thought.

Here are a few pics...not too many...I don't want anyone to feel bad about still being in the cold weather!!!!

Oh forget it! It's taking forever to upload a picture...I'll try more later.

Waiting....

I mentioned a couple of times that Chris and I were thinking of adopting again. Strangely, there has been so much and yet so little happening in this area. Chris and I were told about a child's situation back in October and since that time we have been pursuing the adoption of that child. It is so crazy because when we were told about this particular child, my first words to the SW were, "I'm sorry, I'm going to cry" but Chris' first words were, "what do we have to do to adopt her/him" (sorry, I can't reveal if it's a boy or girl)". This was back in October, only 3 months after adopting Evan. Now, for those of you who know our family and my husband, what a twist of irony for HIM to be the one to suggest adoption!! :-) It's not that I wasn't thinking it, I just didn't dare say it! But because it was something he said first, I knew it was okay to do whatever we could to pursue this adoption.

Unfortunately, I can't give any details at all! Are we any closer to adopting this child? Not really. Is there a chance we will not be able to adopt this child? Absolutely! When we will know anything? Not till May!

What I can say is we have made it very clear that we want to adopt this child and the people involved with this child seem to be working towards that. A lot of stuff is up in the air due to legalalities, courts, laws, etc...

I have been keeping track of all the tiny miracles and opening doors that have brought us to where we are with this child. I have not talked about this adoption very much as it is completely different than our other 2 experiences with adoption. Knowing you want this child so much but having so little control is awful. It's not like you get a referral and then you wait your 1-6 months to travel....this is months of waiting to hear what decisions are being made that will affect this child's life forever.

We have been waiting for news for 7 months...last month I told my friend M about having to wait until May before we heard anything at all and her she told me, "That okay! It gives us more time to pray!" Can you all please remember this child in your prayers? That the people making the decisions for his/her life will make them quickly and not 12 months from now... That he/she can move on to a have a family of his/her own...That he/she is being loved and cared for while he/she waits...

I was sure by now, God,
That you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "amen"
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear you whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
And as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise

And I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

Lyrics from "Praise you in this Storm" by Casting Crowns

Advice?? Tips??

So, Alyssa and Evan are starting grade 1 in September. I am starting to really think about the impact of this in regards to their race and their adoptions. For so long they have been in our "bubble" - you know, we decide who they talk to, who plays with them, where they go, what they do, what they hear, etc, etc...I mean, that's just the way it is with toddlers and preschoolers, we are around them all the time and handle any situations that come up.

Now, we have been very open about their adoptions, their race and we've tried to explain and talk about why people might say certain things BUT they will be on their own next year. My little babies out there on the big school yard all by themselves :-)

I have a meeting with the school's principal on Thursday and I'm wondering if any of you have any advice or tips or questions I should bring up when I meet with her. Alyssa and Evan will be the only Asian children in their school and in fact, may be the only non-caucasian children in the entire school. Every adult adoptee I have talked to, heard workshops from, read their blogs, etc.. all of them say parents SHOULD NOT put their children in schools where they are the ONLY child of their minority. What do I do? How do I handle this? I have asked the school board to bring in someone who can talk to the teachers/staff and children about race and appropriate talk about different races but is it enough? Will Alyssa and Evan always feel that they are different? That they don't belong? Don't fit in?

What about appropriate adoption talk? Does anyone have a list or something that would cover do's and don'ts when talking about adoption? For example, don't say "do you know your real mother?", rather say "do you know your birth mother".

If anyone has some helpful tips or advice they could pass on to me to help me prepare for the meeting with the school, I would greatly appreciate it!!!

THANKS!!

It's not pretty....

I need to write this post...it's been on my heart for a very long time. Mostly, I want to write it because I know this blog will be saved and will be part of "me" when I am no longer here. It will be something my children and maybe even my grandchildren will read as it's my way of "journaling".

This post is sort of "part 2" of the post I wrote called "Crazy? Insane? Idiot?". I know most people will shy away from reading the whole blog post and will turn away from its truth. It's not pretty...it's much easier to live without knowing than to know and have to do something about it.

the question is WHY? So many people have asked me "why"? Why do I care so much about adoption? Why would I keep adopting? Why do I always talk about it? Why am I so burdened by hurt and lonely children? Why would I want to keep adding children to my already "full house"? Why, why, why?

Tonight I was discussing a very serious matter with my husband about a potential adoption (for us! more on this at another time) and he said to me "But even if this adoption works out you will still think about it all the time, you won't stop!" He's absolutely right! And I refuse to apologize anymore for having lonely, hurt and broken children on my heart, all the time! I pray God never allows me to become so comfortable in this selfish world that I would forget the hurting children.

Jesus says in Matthew 25:35,36, 40, "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, for I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least one of these, you did for me"

I see my own children in all the children. I think about each child as if they were my own - how would I feel if it were my child who was cold? hungry? alone? crying? unloved? unwanted? afraid? Truly, a day does not go by that I don't weep for these children, wishing I could do more, wishing I could be more for them. I cannot live my life pretending these children don't exsist. I can't live frivilously knowing children are sick, hungry and alone. I will not! It's hard to do in this society...we are so full of ourselves and what we think we "deserve". We are constantly putting oursleves first and focusing on our greediness. I want to be different than that. I want to put those children first...i have everything (and SO MUCH more) I need...I don't want to live a selfish life caring only about myself...I want to love with the love that Jesus has filled me with.

What God has given me is not only a heart for the orphans but a voice! I was voted "most outspoken" in high school and I think most people who know me would still agree with that! I have a voice and I'm not afraid to use it! I tell anyone and everyone about children, about orphans, how they can help, what they can do, how they can adopt...I can use my voice to advocate for the most vulnerable, I can use my voice to fight for children who have no one.

I was reading a blog the other day (a really incredible young lady who loves like Jesus) and I loved what she had written...Do you love your neighbor as much as you love yourself? Do you love your 147 million orphaned neighbours and the 3.5 million homeless (in America alone) as much as you love yourself? Do you grieve for them the same way you would if it were your own children who were hungry and homeless? What would be different if you did? If this day is all you're promised, what are you doing with it? Right now, today, are you doing what you want to be doing when Christ comes back?"

God wants us to love others...he wants us to love the orphans...he wants us to love the poor...he wants us to be so much more than just living every day for ourselves....

"...I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We don't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small but you are living them in a small way. I am speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively." 2 Corinthians 6:11-13

Luke 3:11 - "John replied, 'If you have 2 shirts, give one to the poor. If you have food, share it with those who are hungry'."

I've been hearing a lot at church lately that all God wants from us is just a relationship with Him. He doesn't "expect" anything from us, we don't need to "do" anything for Him and yet, I read over and over again in scripture that God does want us to "do" something. Not to earn His love or to earn our place in Heaven but because it's what His pure love is. Loving others. Over and over again, scripture tells us to love the orphans, the poor, the lonely, to love the least of these people is to love Jesus. If we have a relationship with Christ then we will be OVERFLOWING with His love and His compassion and we won't be able to sit and do nothing!!! The love will flow out of us and we will want to share it. And not just sharing it with the Christians we are comfortable with but with "the least of these" - seeking those who need God's love!

James 1:27 tell us, "Religion that God our Father considers pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

A few more places where God tells us to have mercy, be kind, love others...

Matthew 5:7
Matthew 25:34-36
Luke 14:12-14
1 Thessalonians 5:14-15
Romans 12:13-16
Colossians 3:12-14
Matthew 19:21
Mark 10:19-21
Luke 18:22

It's not pretty, but it's true. There are children who need us, people who need us...we cannot live as if they don't exist. We cannot forget them. We have to do something. We must love with Jesus' love.