So, Alyssa and Evan are starting grade 1 in September. I am starting to really think about the impact of this in regards to their race and their adoptions. For so long they have been in our "bubble" - you know, we decide who they talk to, who plays with them, where they go, what they do, what they hear, etc, etc...I mean, that's just the way it is with toddlers and preschoolers, we are around them all the time and handle any situations that come up.Now, we have been very open about their adoptions, their race and we've tried to explain and talk about why people might say certain things BUT they will be on their own next year. My little babies out there on the big school yard all by themselves :-)
I have a meeting with the school's principal on Thursday and I'm wondering if any of you have any advice or tips or questions I should bring up when I meet with her. Alyssa and Evan will be the only Asian children in their school and in fact, may be the only non-caucasian children in the entire school. Every adult adoptee I have talked to, heard workshops from, read their blogs, etc.. all of them say parents SHOULD NOT put their children in schools where they are the ONLY child of their minority. What do I do? How do I handle this? I have asked the school board to bring in someone who can talk to the teachers/staff and children about race and appropriate talk about different races but is it enough? Will Alyssa and Evan always feel that they are different? That they don't belong? Don't fit in?
What about appropriate adoption talk? Does anyone have a list or something that would cover do's and don'ts when talking about adoption? For example, don't say "do you know your real mother?", rather say "do you know your birth mother".
If anyone has some helpful tips or advice they could pass on to me to help me prepare for the meeting with the school, I would greatly appreciate it!!!
THANKS!!
6 comments:
www.adoptionsupport.org/newsletter/Aug2008.php#art4
Try that link and see how it works. If you want to chat a bit, I can fill you in on how Jane is getting along and experiences we've had. Tough, isn't it? :)
Kathy G.
We love Adoptive Families magazine. Their website has just about everything the magazine has... and this is an article I remembered from a few months ago.
"How I explained Adoption to the First Grade"
http://adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/how_I.pdf
I hope it helps!
--Kim (CT)
PS, pray for us... God is up to something that may mean BIG changes and a BIG family from Brazil. :o)
Mexico- how exciting!!!
As for schooling, I would absolutley switch them to a different school with more diversity. I grew up in a similar school that was pretty much all white, and I can vouch for how it really gives the kids so many stereotypes about races. Looking back, I was living in such a bubble as a child- up until University. It is sad how much I missed out on just by going to a school with only white kids, and not getting to know any black kids, Asian kids, Hispanic kids, etc. I would switch them to a different, more diverse school for sure!
I agree. If there's any way to find a school with more diversity, I'd go for it. Even if it's less academically superior. Or at the very least, maybe find some afterschool activities--outside of the school--that have more diverse kids in them.
Good luck. And have a great trip.
I think that your children will be just fine in their new school, even if they are the only Asian children there. They seem like sweet, outgoing kids and while I'm sure some of the other children will be curious/ask questions, what a great teaching opportunity you have here! I think that you'll do great by them and think of what an influence you can have by educating the teachers and students at your school who haven't had any interactions with other races of children. I think that would be fun and exciting and you always seem up for a challenge. If you feel this is the school that you should send your children to, I wouldn't let the fact that there are no other Asian children there sway your decision to move them. I'm sure you'll all do great! There is no need to try to "avoid" traditionally white schools like some people seem to be pushing you to do. I'm sure you'll do what is best for your kids, no matter what you ultimately decide. I'd love to hear how your meeting with the principal went.
Having taught grade one myself, I think you are already doing great things to help the transition. You are in contact with the school and you are advocating for your kids. I agree with MaLeah about placement. Unless the school is showing signs of being insensitive, it might be a good thing for everyone for your kids to attend there. In the rural high school I teach in now we have one child with african descent. The students all love and respect him. It's been a great experience for him and the community. And really - someone has to start or it won't ever be more diverse! After all, stereotypes are broken down by "knowing" real people. Your kids seem so well adjusted and you seem like you are very aware of what to watch for. (Of course other children's education should never be at the expense of your two beautiful children, so don't think I'm saying that at all) Good luck in your communication with the school and I hope they pleasantly surprise you with their sensitivity!
Jenn L.
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