Monday, September 1, 2008

Alyssa Li

Evan Jun
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There is so much I want to write, so much on my heart. I just don't feel like I could even share it in a way that makes sense, that's how much is going on in my heart and mind. This adoption has made me feel things I didn't expect (both good and bad) and it has once again filled my heart with an even deeper passion, compassion and hurt for the rest of the children still living and breathing each day, broken and without someone to love them.

I honestly prayed for peace after this adoption - peace from this burden of knowing the hurts and pain of so many children around the world. I believe God is pushing me towards more and not necessarily more adoptions. In fact, I don't think more adoptions for our family will happen and I'm actually okay with that (hard to believe, I know!) but I feel a sense of urgency that God is pushing me (us/our family???) to something else...something that makes me think "but that's impossible" yet that's exactly how God shows himself - through the impossible!

Anyway...like I said, too much going on inside for me to even express it so I'll save it for later. But, in the meantime, I came across this song and so here it is ...to honor the loss our beautiful, precious, adopted children suffer, the loss their birth parents suffer but also to honor the amazing gift they are to us - their moms and dads.

Everything To Me
Mark Shultz

I must have felt your tears
When they took me from your arms
I’m sure I must have heard you say goodbye
Lonely and afraid you had made a big mistake
Could an ocean even hold the tears you cried?

But you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And you made the only choice you could that night

You gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up...
but you gave everything to me

And if I saw you on the street
Would you know that it was me
And would your eyes be blue or brown like mine
Would we share a warm embrace
Would you know me in your heart
Or would you smile and let me walk on by
Knowing you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
Oh...I hope that you’d be proud of who I am

You gave life to me
A chance to find my dreams
And a chance to fall in love
You should have seen her shining face
On our wedding day
Oh is this the dream you had in mind
When you gave me up
You gave everything to me

And when I see you there
Watching from heaven’s gates
Into your arms I’m gonna run
And when you look into my eyes
You can see my whole life
See who I was
And who I’ve become

You gave everthing to me



3 comments:

Unknown said...

Beautiful pics Tammy.

When I saw the first 2 pics, with the title, I immediatly thought, OH WOW... shes writing a book!!
EXCELLENT!
Krista (awake in china at 5am) lol

Monique said...

Very beautiful and if you do decide to write a book, I will definitely buy it! You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. May God lead us all to help the orphans left in some way.

Karen Nieuwhof said...

Hi Tammy! It was so good to see you and the kids on Sunday.
You have me crying again. Beautiful words.
Have fun with the first days of school. Hope everything goes smoothly.