Who will you love?

In light of my last post I feel crazy for writing this....

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I was looking through a photolisting of waiting children and my heart stopped as I saw a picture of a precious little girl with down syndrome. I looked through TONS of photos and read the children's profiles and my heart ached for each child. But nothing like what happened when I saw this particular child. I'm not sure what it was....she's beautiful (but so are all the other children), and initially maybe it's because I thought she looked like our sweet, sweet Alyssa Li. Let's just say I haven't felt even a stirring of this much longing since the day we downloaded Evan's picture and saw him for the first time.

Okay...so I got excited and showed Chris her picture. Yes, my heart was pounding and I was really hoping Chris would get the same vibes as me. But, he didn't. And I wasn't the least bit surprised. He said "She's cute but we are NOT adopting again". Okay...so not to sound flippant (and I mean that!) but I have heard that line before! Past experience has shown me his "No" can turn into a "yes" and it did - twice! Really, 3 times if you consider that together we made a decision to keep our current foster child long term (for us, this means making a commitment to be her family in every way). He has opened his life and his home to care for this foster child.

So, do we have a lot on our plate? Absolutely. Do we have a house full of kids that sometimes takes up every ounce of our energy? Absolutely. Do we already struggle to find time to spend with each child? Absolutely. Are we challenged with very difficult issues in some of our children?

Absolutely.

I know all this. It doesn't change the fact that I saw a picture and felt a deep stirring and longing in my heart. Whether this child will ever be ours or if she will find another family, there is a stirring that I cannot ignore and I can't sit back and do nothing.

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Which of the children does Jesus love the absolute most? Which ones are the most precious in His sight? Which child does Jesus ache for and love with a love so filled with compassion?

Each and every single one of them! He doesn't only love the most beautiful. The most healthy. The most well behaved. The most "adjustable". The most endearing. He loves each and every single child the same. Because each child is HIS child. Like Alyssa, Evan, Caleb and Dylan are OUR children. I truly believe we are to have that same love for each and every child. ("love your neighbour as yourself"...read THIS amazing post and scroll down to Nov 20, 2009)

This is what I've come to learn...this life, this moment in time that is called my life (because let's face it, 100 hundred years ago no one knew of me and in 100 years, no one will remember me) is not about me. It's not about my children and it's not about any children out there needing a family. It is ONLY about Christ and glorifying His Name. Loving and honoring Him. So, every reason we can think of NOT to adopt is about us. Not about Him.

Does our house have enough room for another child? Absolutely. (especially now that we've started the renos) Do we have the capacity to love another person, another child? Absolutely. Do we have the resources in PEI to raise a child with Down Syndrome? Absolutely. Does Jesus call

us to love our neighbour as ourselves? Absolutely.

"Whatever you did for the least of these, you have done for me" (Matt. 25:46)

But again, I'm not saying we are going to adopt. But now that I know about these precious children, I cannot sit back and pretend they don't exist or don't need families. So, my friend and I are thinking of ways we can advocate for these children and raise money to help families adopt

them. There will be MUCH more to come on this...we are working on the details of a new website and then we will spread the word about it!

I encourage you...challenge you to start thinking, dreaming, hoping, longing, wishing, praying about these children, maybe one or two are waiting for you!

The site is REECE's RAINBOW - Canadians CAN adopt these children. If you see a child that you are interested in, email the contact info listed with that child. You can see photos and read their profiles. These children come from Ukraine, Russia, China, Tawain, Serbia, India, Haiti and several other countries. Canadians CAN adopt them!! There are many agencies in Canada who will help families adopt from several different countries.

Click HERE right now to see the amazing children who are waiting.....

A New Year, A New Day, A New Hope

I'm taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly....

The buildup to Christmas was not the happy and relaxed time with family that I had earnestly hoped for...our life is too busy to even enjoy moments like these with the kids. 2 days before Christmas and on Christmas day, I just cried. I regretted everything th

at took me away from enjoying my children during such a special time of year. The build-up, the anticipation always has such high expectation and I felt like I failed miserably. I know for certain if you asked the children they would happily exclaim that Christmas was "great" and "fun". I've even heard a couple of them declare "this was the best Christmas ever!".

But I guess I had high expectations for myself and what I wanted to "accomplish" this season - I had big plans of baking authentic Chinese and Colombian food to honor the cultures in our home, I planned to have some quiet evenings watching our favorite Christmas movies and eating christmas candy and treats, I envisioned taking all the kids downtown to walk through the light display and then getting hot chocolate and laughing together....

I'm going to be honest...raising 5 kids takes A LOT of time and energy. Sometimes I deny

this to myself and truly make myself believe that I can do everything I did when we had 2 children. When we had 2 children I owned my own business and worked the hours I chose, my husband worked 1 job and our children were young and weren't in any extra curricular activities...fast forward to now....I have 2 jobs, my husband works 2 jobs, we are full time foster parents and all 5 children are involved in one activity (does hockey count as one activity when it's 5 nights a week???) So, technically, I should be giving myself a break...lowering my expectations a little, right?! But, I didn't. I made myself believe I was superwoman and could do it all.

Christmas Eve we had a big party with our friends and family...this is how crazy my day was...when people arrived at 7:00 I didn't even have the punch made or any of the appetizers ready, no food out for people to munch on. I did, however, have 5 additional

children who were beyond excited and extremely adorable!!!! Hours before our party I found out about 8 children who didn't have anyone to help them celebrate Christmas...our 5 kids each picked one of the children (I got 3 children and the mom!) and we headed to town to buy some Christmas gifts. We also invited the children to our home to celebrate Christmas Eve with us...only 5 could come as the others were too young to come to our home without their mom.

That was the highlight of our Christmas. Beautiful, precious little things who LOVED having gifts to put under their Christmas tree, kids who begged to come back to our house for more play time (and how could I refuse them?) and the next day we spoke to them and heard how happy they were with their 2 gifts each. A lesson for all of us...

So, the authentic Chinese and Colombian baking did not get done, we did not watch many Christmas movies (just Elf) and we most certainly did not make it down to the light show and drink hot chocolate.

After Christmas day, though, we DID manage to get some down time...all the children's activities shut down for Christmas break - except hockey but we LOVED watching Dylan and Caleb play in the tournament (and rink fries are really tasty!)...we had my parents come for a visit, I had 2 different families over for visits, we watched lots of movies (we even watched 2 in one day!), we had time to play games with the kids - like seriously, I can't remember when I had the leisure of sitting and playing games. I know this should be a "normal" thing to do in a family but the last year has proven to be anything but normal for us.

So, now it's 2010...a new year, every day will be a new day, with new hope....

We are making changes to help set the mood for 2010....

1. I resigned from my job at Canadian Blood Services...less money but hopefully more sanity!

2. We have been dealing with some challenges with a couple of our children...fostering and adopting has many challenges...for us, facing the reality of this and then doing everything in our power to get the right support has been vital...we feel better equipped now t

hat we know what these challenges entail and ways to work through them so each child can reach his/her full potential.

3. A few renovations to our home which will provide adequate space and a comfortable living area so ALL OF US can remain sane under this small roof! :-)

4. A new attitude that each and every child that lives in my home (now and in the future) is God's child and although I do not have the energy and patience to endure my crazy life, God absolutely does.

So, here we go...into 2010.

Happy New Year everyone!

*Note: Unfortunately I can't add pics right now...most of the pictures I took over Christmas include our foster child as well as the other children and I'm not able to post a foster child's picture online.

We're All In This Together

The last few months have been challenging for me personally. I am longing to live a life that is radical....I find it so hard to do here. Our society just doesn't get "it". By "it" I mean the heartache and hurt of people all around us - heartache and hurt that we have the capacity to CHANGE, to make a DIFFERENCE. People here seem so complacent, content to live in their own bubble. Our society only wants to hear about something if it can benefit them; what's the best car to drive, the newest sound system, the latest technology, the biggest house, the coolest renovations, the hottest name brand....

I cannot get my head around this mindset of greediness and selfishness. Sometimes I want to be like that. Sometimes I find myself thinking "if only I had this, if only I had that"....and I have to give my head a shake!

The 5 children in our home represent 3 different countries. 3 of my children came to me broken, grieving and suffering more loss than anyone should in a lifetime. My babies. My sweet, precious little babies (no matter what age they are!). What if we had turned our hearts against hearing about orphans? What if we made a choice to get a bigger house rather than paying for our adoptions? What if we had chosen to turn away from the truth of people's pain, brokenness and lonliness so that we could just carry on with our blissfully happy life?

People, I wouldn't have 3 of my sweet, precious, little babies! My babies. They wouldn't be here. They wouldn't be filling my heart to near bursting with gratitude for their presence in my life every single day! I would not be inspired to be a more caring and loving person. I would not look into their faces every day and see the amazing miracle of their lives! Living and breathing right here in our house. The essence of Christ's love living right under my roof.

I encourage you. I challenge you. Please choose to live a radical life. Love Jesus so fully that you can't help but have His love spill over and touch another person's life.

Recipes!

Our family represents 3 different countries and we love to try out foods from around the world. I am not the best cook but every now and then I brave a new recipe to try and incoporate some culture into our eating!

This recipe comes from Columbia and our family's newest member made it for me today...it was actually quite delicious!!!

POTATO and EGG SOUP

Slice up a 5-6 potatoes in a pot.

Add water just to cover the potatoes.
Add about the same amount of milk as water.

Bring to boil and cook until potatoes are soft.

Add salt and pepper.

Make sure the heat is turned down to medium and crack 3 eggs into the pot (on top of the potato soup mixture) DO NOT STIR in the eggs...you want the eggs to stay whole, like a fried egg. Let the eggs cook in the hot soup for about 5 mintues.

Serve it up! Makes about 3-4 servings.

If you have a recipe from around the world to share, please leave it in the comments section or send me an email!!!

Also, this is a great website filled with recipes from countries that allow international adoptions. Click on over and try out some of these cultural delights to help celebrate National Adoption Month!

Here is a calendar link that gives ideas of something to do EACH day of NOVEMBER to celebrate National Adoption Month...It's got some great links and ideas...be sure to check it out!



Check out the Magazine...






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There are some neat tips and ideas on scrapbooking your adopted child's memories, their lifestory and their everyday life with you! Click HERE to read more!

National Adoption Month

November is here....after a crazy busy last week of October! 3 of our children had birthdays last week - we had 4 parties and then all the Halloween fun - carving pumpkins, decorating the house with spooky things, finding costumes for everyone and then the actual trick or treating. WHEW!

Moving on to November....
November is National Adoption Month! I would LOVE to hear feedback from everyone on ways you've been touched by adoption, adoption moments, adoption blogs, great adoption books or anything and everything that has to do with adoption. Throughout the month I'm going to be adding some adoption tidbits on my blog...quotes, statistics, blogs, books, resources, etc....

If you are an adoptive parent, an adopted child, social worker, teacher, friend, anyone who has something to share about adoption, leave it in the comment section. If you have an adoption blog, please leave the link and I'll post it on my blog!

More later,
Tammy

Dance on...

WOW...obviously everyone who reads this blog knows how personally attacked I felt by Ms. Anonymous (Ms. Sonshine??) and her comments. Just plain mean and spiteful. But, since those nasty comments, a few things have happened....

1. My friend, M wrote the most incredible comment (posted in yesterday's comment section) that brought tears to my eyes. She is someone who knows me to my deepest level...the good, the bad and the ugly. And even though she has seen the "ugly" in me, she knows my heart and what a wonderful message she left for me. It truly restored me.

2. Reading the encouraging and kind comments from you guys...thank you!!!! It is such a boost to have people stick up for me and you guys made me feel so much better!

3. My husband asked me why I was letting Ms. Anonymous get to me - he said our life, our family, our journey is so much bigger than her nasty comments. He told me I didn't need to write anything in response to her comments, I have no reason to justify or to clarify for her. Nothing like a logical man to bring me down from my emotional high horse!

4. A lady called me on the phone last night....literally someone we have not seen or heard from personally in 3 years. She called me to specifically ask me how all our children were doing and to tell me what an amazing family we were (whether that's true or not, it is nice to hear!). She encouraged me for over 1/2 hour telling me how blessed our children were, how we would be blessed and how surely God is looking favorably on us for how we are caring for His children. She called me without even having a clue what was going on in my life or what had been written on this blog (she doesn't read the blog). Isn't that incredible??? The timing was miraculous.

5. After reading Ms. Anonymous' comments, I browsed other blogs that I sometimes find comfort in. One of them is called "A Life of Simplicity". This family has 9 adopted children and the mom truly "gets" it....adoption is not about how big (or small) your family is, it is about specific children, each one as amazingly special and worthy as another. I went to this post - crazy how she was writing EXACTLY what I was being criticized for!!!!!!! It was a God thing, I'm sure.

And to sum it all up, everything our family bases our choices on is this quote:

And really, I have to come back to the fact that we sing and dance for an audience of ONE - Jesus Christ – the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords – the lover, protector and defender of orphans – OUR Miracle-working, Mountain-moving, Awe-inspiring, Gasp-giving God whom we praise with all our might, day and night!! He is the only one we sing and dance for. He will, Lord willing, one day say: “Well done thou good and faithful servant. You were faithful with little. You were faithful when I gave you much. I am pleased with you.”

Oh my goodness....I am so thankful that all of these incidents helped me bring my focus back on what is really important...honoring Christ by loving His little children.