Ontario has a mandate to place children who are available for adoption into homes with similar cultural backgrounds.
Even though I may have lived with a particlar child and created a bond, our family would be overlooked so the child could live in a family with an african background, practicing the Muslim religion.
Even though I may have lived with a particlar child and created a bond, our family would be overlooked so the child could live in a family with an african background, practicing the Muslim religion.
What do you think?
Is it fair to discriminate based on cultural backgrounds and religious beliefs?
Or, if 2 families can love a child equally, is it truly best for a child to be raised in the family who shares their cultural roots and religious beliefs?
There are no right or wrong answers but it is an interesting topic to discuss and obviously this is important to our family as we are currently raising 3 children from different cultural backgrounds.
I'd love to hear your points of view.
Is it fair to discriminate based on cultural backgrounds and religious beliefs?
Or, if 2 families can love a child equally, is it truly best for a child to be raised in the family who shares their cultural roots and religious beliefs?
There are no right or wrong answers but it is an interesting topic to discuss and obviously this is important to our family as we are currently raising 3 children from different cultural backgrounds.
I'd love to hear your points of view.
6 comments:
Tough call. I just posted out a long winded answer, and then went to comment and it got deleted. Arg. I don't feel like typing out my explanation again, so I will just say simply that it is complicated and I can see both sides BUT, if 2 families were able to care for and love a child equally- yes, I think they should be placed with the family from the same religion or cultural background.
What makes you think that your family is best for this (and every)child? You seem to be having enough trouble keeping up with the children you already have - perhaps you should focus on them rather than adding another child to the mix.
Ouch anonymous! Tammy I don't get the impression that you think your family is THE best for this child, rather that because you have cared for this child and become attached to him/her and love him/her that your home is a logical and great choice because this child has become a part of your family. I know that you have a wonderful loving home/family to offer to any child.
Culture and religion are only 2 aspects of a family. In many families these are 2 large aspects but in many they are not. Why not consider the family's background and experience. Just because a child comes from a certain culture doesn't mean that they identify with it. A child may have more in common with a family who is a different race/culture or religion than that he/she was born into.
If 2 families can equally love and care for a child and the child fits in well with each one, then it is probably best for the child to be with the family that they have more in common with. However if there is a history between a child and one of the families then that should also be considered.(Please keep in mind that I am not speaking from experience and I'm considering it as if I'm looking at 2 families who are identical in all ways except their cultural background and religious practices.)
I'm sure there are an overwhelming amount of considerations to be made when deciding who a child should live with. I think it would be pretty hard to say that 2 families could equally love and care for a particular child because no 2 families are identical. Don't you think there would always be some differences in how the child would fit into the family.
I think I tend to lean towards agreeing with Nikki but also with Susan. It IS complicated, and in a lot of cases all other things being equal, the same religion and cultural background should have sway. However; as pointed out it's very hard to quantify "equal". I do know though if I was ever in the horribly difficult position of having to give up my child in the best interests of that child, I would want them to go to a couple that shared my Christian faith. So I can't dismiss that consideration for others who ARE making that sacrifice and decision.
Tammy, everyone who knows you knows the love you have for children. The comments by anonymous are absolutely ridiculous. Anyone who uses "anonymous" to make comments like that is simply being hurtful (and cowardly). Remember how many people have and will continue to turn to you for advice/insight into adoption. You've inspired so many of us. Don't forget that!
I think the best thing for a child is to have a loving and secure family, who accepts and embraces all that they are, including their cultural heritage.
That's a simple answer, but after a heck of a lot of thought, I think that's true. I used to worry a lot about taking our kids from their country and their culture - after speaking with hundreds of Ethiopians, I realize that they feel that this is best for some children, and I focus instead on the richness our Ethiopian children bring to our family's diverse and multicultural way of life.
Nicky
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