When?

Today I feel sad. It's been 113 days since we saw Evan's face for the first time. I don't know if people understand what this feels like...imagine giving birth and seeing your child's face for the first time - it is so exciting - you are overcome with love for this child - you cry because you can't believe this child is yours...and then....they take the baby away.

Sure you have pictures.

But imagine not holding or seeing your child again for 113 days! Not only that, but we haven't heard ONE WORD about Evan since January. We don't know anything about how he is doing, what his life is like, how he is being cared for...nothing!

Every day waiting for any tiny tidbit of news that will bring you closer to you child and everyday hearing...nothing. Day after day, week after week, month after month.

I want Evan to come home.

When Love Takes You In - Steven Curtis Chapman

Evan is home - SORT OF!

The other day the kids and I were fooling around, being silly while we talked about Evan and discussing when he would finally get to come home. I have a little "boy" on my front steps - I bought him at Walmart and he holds a flower pot. Well, I decided to have some fun with the kids and pretend this was our Evan. We have a picture of Evan on our fridge so I taped the picture to the little boy - just for a laugh with the kids! Well, I should have known Alyssa would take it seriously (she is funny and smart but EXTREMELY serious)!! The boys thought it was an absolute hoot but Alyssa INSISTS on keeping "our Evan" in her room now so he doesn't get cold on the deck!!! I tried to sneak "our Evan" back out to the deck last night and she got terribly upset so now he's back safe and sound in her room! TOO FUNNY!

Here is our little Evan...home with us...well, sort of! Hehehehe

"The Makeover"

The girls decideed I needed a make over today (while I was trying to sleep outside on my lounge chair) and WOW, was it ever a transformation! They were VERY serious about the whole makeover and worked really hard at getting just the "right amount" of clips in my hair and just the most "perfect" shade of lipstick. (Note to self: throw the lipstick away - it's hideous!).

While the girls were working so earnestly on my makeover, Alyssa says "Dad is going to love this!" It was too cute.

Getting the lipstick perfect...the girls said they were making me into a "Woman popstar"

And...I think they succeeded...wouldn't you say?

The Guardian Photo

The kids did get their picture in the paper which was cute! They have been selling food at their "LemonAID for Hope" stand since last summer and have raised several hundred dollars for children in China.

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I asked the kids today if they thought they might want to adopt when they grew up and all of them said "Yes, I definitely am!". Alyssa said she was going to adopt a little girl from Rwanda (she pronounced it "Ronda") Too cute.

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MacLean's Magazine is sending over a photographer to our house on Sunday to get some shots of a "day in the life" of our family. Scary...the photographer called and said he wanted to get shots of our daily routine, getting up and ready for the day, getting breakfast, etc...I just don't know if getting 4 kids a bowl of Honeycombs is glamourous enough??? I'll have to go out and get stuff for french toast and fresh fruit or something! The photographer wants to spend 2-3 hours with us! Really, nothing that exciting happens....

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A reporter for MacLean's called me a few weeks ago to interview us about our adoptions but also about the adoption issues in Canada (I think they got my name because of the Adoption Coalition we formed in PEI). I'm not sure what angle the story is - whether it's more personal about adoption or about overall issues in the adoption process. But, they wanted to personalize the story with photos of our family so...........

Secret Pal gift

A very special thank you to my secret pal for her thoughtfulness and caring with the gift she gave me. She sent me an "Adoption Miracles" book and a journal with a few adoption poems written in it and I needed to read them today - for some reason they made me feel closer to Evan and to the dream of finally being with him.

Our Child

With anxious hearts and open arms
We sought you everywhere
You, dear child, are a gift from God
The answer to our prayer

No matter whether birth or choice
A home is blessed from above
When caring parents claim their child
A family is formed by love

~Author Unkown~
Our sweetest little Evan

For finding your mother,

There's one certain test

You must look for the creature

Who loves you the best

~David Kirk~ (Little Miss Spider)

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Thanks again Secret Pal!

Yay! A great success!

A special thank you to Gail, our cookie artist, for the amazingly delicious and beautiful cookies she made for the LemonAid for Hope stand. She created butterflies, ladybugs, sailboats and ice cream cone cookies....they were awesome and sold out very quickly!!

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Whew! What a crazy weekend! We had our Toonie Sale on Saturday and we were busy! The kids had their "LemonAID for Hope" stand. They made almost $300! Great job guys! They had some help from their friends Aayaana, Canaan, Hunter and Michael so a big thank you to them!

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The Guardian (newspaper) came by and took some photos of the kids and their lemonAID stand so I'll post the pictures when they run in the paper.

The sale started off with a few people trickling in (about 1.5 hours before it was scheduled to start!) and then a few more came and then all of a sudden it was packed! People were everywhere! It was fantastic. We were so thrilled and encouraged by the people who came out and shopped for great deals! There was a great turn out from our Chinese community and the adoption community here on PEI so that was very nice!

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A very very heartfelt THANK YOU to my awesome friend, Mari Lynn. She always works tirelessly to help me with my many fundraising endeavors! We spent all Friday lugging boxes, folding baby clothes (over 2000 items!) and sorting sizes and setting up the event. It was a lot of work but in the end we raised over $1500 for Evan' orphanage in Liuzhou, Guangxi so that's fantastic for the many precious children living there!!!

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Enjoy the photos...

Late Friday night after all the clothes were sorted, folded and ready for the big sale! Thanks to Tracy and her sisters who came to help Mari Lynn and I with the folding!!!

Racks of dresses, snowsuits and jackets (yes, all for $2/each - what a steal!)

People started to trickle in and we thought things were going great....

and before we knew it the place was packed! It was so fun!

Thank you to Mari Lynn again for all your work...thank you to my great friend, Megan who came to help and brought Madeliene and Jada to help with face painting! Thank you to my trusty teenager helpers (they come to every fundraising event for Two Homes One Heart) Mandy, Victoria and Paige! You were all so awesome! Thank you to Snugglebugs for giving us a deal on the clothes!

A sparkle of hope!

There are rumors flying around - exciting ones!

Chris and I found out our dossier is in Review and may even possibly be finished being reviewed and moved on to the next step - LETTER SEEKING CONFIRMATION - which is what we have been waiting for! We can't go anywhere or move on with our adoption until we have this letter from China!

Chris and I were talking this morning about the activities/events we have coming up and we have 3 big ones happening by May 25th. The time will fly by trying to those events successfully completed. And then, only 2 weeks until China (or thereabouts!).

I am trying, trying, trying to get jobs on my list done to prepare for China but I don't have a lot of gumption. I told a friend the other day, "All I want to do is lay in bed and dream about Evan".

I did get my garden cleaned out and ready for spring. That feels good!

We got the swingset back in order with getting new hardware for the swings, etc... It still needs to be braced but we'll wait until the ground settles more.

We dug out the BBQ and the patio furniture, cleaned it all and put in on the back deck.

I went through Caleb and Dylan's clothes - yes, Caleb has lots for summer so I don't have to worry about that before the trip.

Our little foster girl is going to be staying with us for a while so I organized Alyssa's closet to fit 2 little girls and made some "longer term" bedroom arrangements.

So, slowly, I am getting things done - I am afraid to show Chris my list because he'll freak out. I know he's busy and works hard and when he comes home at night (or weekends) he doesn't want to be painting, cleaning out basements, taking trips to the dump, building things but I can't seem to get it all done myself with 4 kids running around me (and about 5 neighbourhood kids at any given time!!)

Enough rambling...the great news is...our dossier is getting reviewed and we should be hearing positive news VERY SOON!!!!! What will it be like to finally see Evan for real????????

Check out this link...

A friend of ours is having a really cool fundraiser that will help fight child poverty. She is adopting from China but has a heart for children around the world. She came up with a really cool fundraising idea and it's something we can all do! Check it out at Deb's Blog!

Entering a new week...

Half of April is over already...wow, the time really does go by quickly.

We talked with our agency over the weekend and we found out FOR SURE we will not be traveling in May. But, I am okay with that. It's nice to know one way or the other and it gives me more time to prepare. There is so much going on in the next month. And June is only 1.5 months away!!

Because we have some fundraisers on the go (Two Homes One Heart and for Evan's orphanage) I really need to be here to help with the planning and being at the events. I also have to go through all the summer clothing and clean out my basement! (I love organzing and cleaning so don't feel sorry for me!)

I have some painting projects I'd like to get done. (This is probably an unrealistic dream but I've added it to my list anyway)

I need to get my garden ready for spring/summer. Actually, I know nothing about gardens so I have a couple of friends who usually come over and help me.

Here is something that might interest you and it's coming up THIS Saturday!!

$$ TOONIE SALE $$

name brand, pre-snuggled clothing for kids

infant sizes up to big kids size 12

Enjoy a day of GREAT bargains while you treat yourself to some yummy treats at our

"LemonAID for Hope" stand (Caleb named it and it's our kids' stand!)

Children can enjoy face painting, coloring and a play area while parents shop

When: Sat, April 19

Time: 11:00 am - 3:00 pm

Place: West Royalty Community Center

(across from Capitol Honda, Ch'town)

Over 2000 items of children's clothing to be sold!

DON'T MISS OUT!

This is going to be a FUN event so make sure you come out and get some bargains!

As always...you can purchase Wii tickets by clicking on the "Donate" button on the right hand side of our blog.

Have a great day!!!

A message from Caleb....

Hi! My name is Caleb. I am 11 years old and I live in Cornwall. Our family is really excited because we are adopting a brother from China. We already adopted my little sister 3 years ago from China so I am happy we are doing it again!

This time, my mom and dad are taking me with them. I can’t wait to see my brother for the very first time! He is 5 years old and he was born with a cleft lip and palate. Both have been repaired and from looking at his pictures, you can only see 2 small scars.

My brother is in the care of the Children’s Welfare Institute of Liuzhou in Guangxi Province. It is a large orphanage with many children. My mom has been finding out lots of information about the orphanage and although the nannies do their very best it is still hard to take care of all the children. The orphanage needs more things like baby formula, food for the older children, clothes for the kids, safe cribs, toys and more nannies to hold and love the kids!

I wanted to do something that could help the orphanage and we decided to have a raffle to raise money. The prize is a brand new Wii System. It comes with the Wii System, a controller and the awesome game, Wii Sports!

All the money I raise will go to help the children living with my brother. I hope I can make a difference for those children. They need many things and I want them to be happy.

We will be going to China in June to pick up my little brother and I will give the donation money to the Orphanage Director when I am there.

Thank you for helping me!!!

Caleb MacKinnon

DRAW DATE: May 14, 2008 ~ TICKETS: $5/each or 3 for $10

I just REALIZED!

I talked with our agency director (who can do just about anything in the China adoption world!!) 2 days ago and she said our file was going to be reviewed right away. Then she slipped in "we are now hoping you travel in May or June" - okay...so did she REALLY mean there was a possibility of traveling in May or did she just throw that line out there like we would say "it cost a buck or two"! There is a HUGE difference between May or June - I don't know if she said it casually or if she actually meant it! HELP!

So the last few days people have been asking when we were traveling to China and I would say "not till June" and everyone keeps saying "Oh, that's not far away at all!" And in my slump of feeling sorry for myself, I must have forgot to notice what date it actually is. I mean, people, it's already April 9th! So, most likely we will be heading to China in 2 months or LESS!

Now, I understand in the "adoption world" 2 months is endless - I really do! But, let's take 2 months in my family's perspective - days and weeks fly by at our house because we have so much going on:

-both of us are working full time right now

-we have a foster child living with us (under school age)

-we have 3 of our own children

-our children are involved in basketball, skating (hockey camps), dance lessons (both girls), guitar lessons, art class, homework club, wrestling club (yes, both boys - like they need to learn how to wrestle!! Please, they could teach the class!)

-throw in family activity time and date nights for Chris and I (we do try at least one night a week! - I know that sounds like a lot but keep in mind we could go the whole day without speaking to each other except to say what needs to be done and ask who will be driving who to what activity only to fall into bed at night exhausted!)

-throw in Chris's overtime and his 2nd job and you can see that our days and weeks melt away before our very eyes!

So, in our life, 2 months or LESS will be here in a blink of an eye! Isn't that exciting??!! I just REALIZED that today!!! Then I started to think about all the things that will need to happen before June (in our daily lives and in preparation for the trip) and I realized I needed to get my butt in gear!

-We have a huge TOONIE SALE event that is happening to raise money for our new son's orphanage (we are raising money for several children to have surgeries and therapy)

-Caleb is still working hard on his Wii Raffle to raise money for his brother's orphanage

-Our 2nd Annual Kids Carnival is coming up for our family charity (Two Homes One Heart) and there is LOTS of planning to do for that

-we have to finish getting our needles to travel - mine are done but both Chris and Caleb need theirs

-we have to figure out our finances and see what we have to pay to complete the adoption, how much we will need for the trip and how much we have to leave here to cover our bills and expenses for those who will be looking after our kids

-we have to make child care arrangements - we are hoping Alyssa and Dylan can go to their Aunt and Uncle's house for the 1st week and then my Dad is coming over from NS for the 2nd week.

-we need to make all arrangements for school and extra curricular activities

-we may need to figure something out for our foster child - depending on how long she is with us

-we need to go through our summer clothes since it's VERY HOT in Guangxi and see what still fits Caleb, what we have for Evan, what still fits us...

-we need to make packing lists

-we need to figure out our flights

-and on and on....

So, as you can see (or read) I need those 2 months or LESS!!!

I am really excited right now but I'm sure once I completely grasp what has to be done I will be more like this...

Getting on with it!

Still kind of bummed about the whole adoption news but can't do anything about it from my end so onward and upward...

I have been asked to go to a local Jr. High School tomorrow to do 2 presentations on adoption and the needs of children worldwide. I guess they are discussing ways for couples to grow their families and the big increase in international adoption. The kids were asking tons of questions about why there are so many children available for adoption in other countries, what happens to the children who are not adopted, what the adoption process is like, etc... I'm looking foward to going - I always love to talk about adoption anyway and maybe I can scout out some new babysitters...ha ha ha (since my regular one is going away for the summer - boo hoo!!)

I did talk with my agency director tonight and she said she is doing everything she can to make sure our file is reviewed quickly and our LSC is sent. She also said she had tried locals in Liuzhou city, her brother (who lives in China) her guide and some others trying to get information for our families who are adopting from Liuzhou Orphanage but she has had no luck at all. She told me a couple of other things about that but I don't want to write them here publically.

This is what I know for certain: I believe with all my heart that God hand picked this little boy for us - no matter what "issues" we may face when he comes home, no matter what "needs" he has, no matter what "time" he physically joins our family, God chose us as his family. So there is a sort of peace within that whatever is ahead of us we will be able to handle it and we are the right family for our Evan. Now that's not to say there's not an hour that goes by that I don't think about him, pray and wish with all my heart that we were leaving tomorrow to bring him home but I do know God is way bigger than my mind or heart.

...not that I'm counting or anything but it has been 58 days since I first saw Evan's picture...

And the wait continues...

Adoption Update

I heard from our agency director today - not great news at all!

First of all, our dossier is still in translation at CCAA.

Second, our agency director said she was still trying very hard to arrange it so we travel in June but she just doesn't know now. I truly know they are doing everything they can to make sure we do but only CCAA can issue that Letter Seeking Confirmation.

Some other families in our travel group have received their Letters from CCAA and they will be traveling in May. This is fantastic for them!! But... oh so heartbreaking for those of us still waiting for our Letters.

And definitely no updates on little Evan - the orphanage/Province will not give any information out about the children.

So, not a great day for adoption news, that's for sure!

Waiting Child Program

When we adopted Alyssa 3 years ago, there were 2 families in our travel group who adopted 4 year old children from the "Waiting Child Program". At that time, Chris and I hadn't really heard of the Waiting Child program and when we started the process to adopt Alyssa, neither our Province nor our agency mentioned this program to us. But, while in China, I watched these amazing 4 year olds with their new moms and God began planting a seed in my heart.

There was one morning in China when Chris and I were sitting outside the hotel room with Alyssa (and enjoying every moment with her) and watching the 2 four year olds playing, laughing, talking and just simply enjoying being "four"! I leaned over to Chris and said "If we ever adopt again, I want to adopt that age". Chris just looked at me and said "Yeah, but that's never going to happen".

So, for 3 years the "waiting children" were on my heart and I prayed (and pleaded!!) God would move Chris' heart to adopt again. Over the 3 years we received updates from different families in our travel group and would see updated pictures...all the children were thriving in their new families and the 4 year olds who couldn't speak any English at all when they were adopted were top of their class and adjusting amazingly well!

When Chris and I finally were at a place where we could start the adoption process again we immediately knew we would go through the "Waiting Child" program from China. We had talked about adopting an "older child" between the ages of 3-5. When we approached the Province of PEI, we were told the waiting Child program had changed and PEI families wouldn't be able to adopt through it as they had before (but that's another long story and post!!). This meant LONG waits (up to 3 + years!) and we really felt we were being led to a child now. Not really knowing what God had planned for us, we decided to begin the adoption process for a child from Ethiopia. We requested a 3 year old, knowing by the time she came home she would be close to 4 years old.

We formed an Adoption Coalition to find solutions to adoption issues on PEI. I was asked to be the spokesperson and gladly accepted. Our first MAJOR issue was China's Waiting Child program. Who knew I would be fighting for my own child when we began our letter campaign, media stories and meeting with the government!!

We learned about a precious 4 year old boy named Liu YangJun on January 7, 2008. He was in the Waiting Child Program from China. On January 8, 2007, our Adoption Coalition's hard work paid off and the Province of PEI confirmed they WOULD allow families to proceed with this program and allow families to be matched by agencies (getting rid of that 3+ year wait!). On January 11, Chris and I committed to adopting our little "Evan" who was born with a cleft lip and palate (both repaired now). After 3 years of prayers and a burden placed on my heart for waiting children, we would be bringing home our new son!

What is the Waiting Child Program

Children from China with minor, correctible medical needs available for adoption. Both male & female children between the ages of 9 months - 13 years are available. The most common need is cleft lip and/or palate. Some others would be birthmarks, missing finger/toes, missing limbs, club foot, Hep B, minor heart (VSD), hearing loss, etc....

Why the Waiting Child Program

Each and every child is amazingly special and precious. All children long to have a family to call their own. All children need the nurture and care of loving parents, extended families and their communities.

Some people have a misconception that a "perfect"' child is a child without special needs. I have talked with many many families who immediately say "oh no, we don't want a special needs child!". First and foremost, these are children who need the love of a family. Secondly, their "special needs" are manageable, correctible and minor. I'm quite sure those people I've talked with would not consider their biological child "special needs" if they were born with a cleft lip or had a birth mark or had club feet. There may be some extra medical attention needed for their child but they would be overall healthy, well adjusted, capable, smart and loving children. And so are the children in the Waiting Child Program. It is amazing how children thrive with the one-on-one care and love of parents.

It saddens me to know people will think my child is "less" somehow because he found his way to us through the Waiting Child Program. I imagine he will be full of spunk and life, ready to take on the world, eager to rumble & tumble with his big brothers, excited to share his days at kindergarten with his sister, will anxiously wait to throw his arms around his daddy when he gets home from work and will always be ready with the biggest smile ever! How could this little boy be "special needs"? Well, he IS! He is amazingly special and he has many needs that we are more than thankful to share with him!

Not flesh of my flesh

Nor bone of my bone

But still, miraculously, my own

Never forget for a single minute

You didn't grow under my heart,

but in it

Please feel free to contact me anytime to talk about the children available through the Waiting Child Program. It is our dream that each special child can find their own forever family!!

Canadian Agencies to conact for the Waiting Child Program

Family Outreach International
http://familyoutreach.com/
Tollfree # 1-866-789-8677

This is the agency we used for both our adoptions and they are FANTASTIC! I highly recommend them!!!

Children's Bridge
http://childrensbridge.com/
Phone #613-226-2112

U.S. Agencies to contact for the Waiting Child Program

Small World Adoptions
http://www.swa.net/

Children's Hope International
http://childrenshope.net

www.waitingchild.org - has a great list of agencies