We had a great visit with my parents and my siblings and all our nieces and nephews!!! I'll post some pictures tomorrow.
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We haven't heard anything in regards to our adoption...no new updates on our file, no new updates on our little guy. I have even gone so far as to pay for the services of Blessed Kids and hope they are able to get some new pictures and recent measurements.
I am starting to get moments of panic...I'll be doing something "normal" like cleaning or driving somewhere or just doing everyday things and all of a sudden I'll be overcome with sadness and that panicky feeling parents get when they can't get to their children. Sometimes I get this feeling if my kids are staying overnight somewhere or at school and all of a sudden I stop and think "are they okay?" "I need to see them right away". Well, I've been getting those feelings or panic moments for the last week or so and I'm finding it really difficult to get through the days without the panic.
I guess for the first 7 weeks of knowing who "Evan" was we were busy getting paperwork done, having adoption meetings, homestudy meetings and just frantically working on getting everything submitted to CCAA. Now, for the last 3 weeks we've been doing nothing adoption related except waiting. Realistically, we still have 2-3 months left before we travel (unless a miracle happens!) and each day I feel time slipping away and Evan is getting older and closer to 6 years old. We are missing so much of his young life and it makes me extremely anxious.
I don't want to wish my life away but I want June to come NOW - I hate feeling this overwhelming sadness, anxiety and panic every day.
I'm really hoping we at least get an update soon - some pictures of his precious face so I can know he is real and alive! I'd love some updates on how he is doing and his measurements so I can actually buy a few things for him. I guess I'm desperate to feel like he's real and not just a photo.
Oh...when will I see you sweet boy????
6 comments:
Big hugs going out to you, Tammy. This has got to be so hard...it's so different from the wait we had for our girls in the NSN program. I can only imagine what it must feel like as I know that we will also have to endure this wait eventually.
Praying that you can get an update on Evan and some sort of sign to let you know he's fine and doing well, until you can finally hold him in your arms.
xo
Aww I'm sorry we couldn't have been there to meet up with you Tammy!! Hope you had a good time back home though!
I know exactly how you feel Tammy!! I've been just dying to get in touch with Blessed Kids and send out a package, but I was waiting till our file arrived in China. (which it did today).
Do you know if I have to wait till the CCAA officially matches us before I'm allowed to send a care package to Hanlin?
I'm sending you big hugs!!!!
Krista
Tammy, I am feeling for ya girl! My fingers are crossed that you will get some news soon!
Ricki
Sorry to hear you are finding the wait so hard. I hope yoiu hear something really soon, an update would sure ease the mind a little.
I hope these next few months go by quickly for you.
I"m a little late for this post... catching up on blogs and well I am also sending you lots of positive vibes and big hugs.... I remember the wait to travel.. having held my girls and having to return to Canada and wait another 6 months was something I never thought I could do.. the wait to travel is very emotionnal.... Your feelings are normal, you have a child waiting for you ...
I pray that things go quickly and that you soon receive new pictures and an update on your little one !
Lisa
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