Wednesday, January 30, 2008
I finally emailed her today as well as her Administrative Assistant who is responsible for getting the dossier completed and the letters typed up and copies made. Again, no response.
I waited until the end of the day to call their office again, knowing they would be getting ready to head out and not in meetings. Her admin. assistant answered the phone and wouldn't talk to me at all, she immediately said she would get R. So, I spoke with R. and she is now telling me they are hoping to have our file sent by the end of this week, but no guarantees. Maybe next week, she'll see. But, she will definitely call me when it's sent! That's thoughtful of her! I questioned her over and over about different things that have delayed our file from being sent and she actually used a power outage as her excuse. Okay....the power was out for 2 1/2 hours TODAY - what does that have to do with the last 3 weeks of not having our dossier done??!!!!! That was the best she could come up with????
Another excuse was that there was lots of things to be done to have our file ready...1. a letter signed and 2. the dossier photocopied...well...
Kids Link, in the meantime, was able to retrieve our original dossier in Ethiopia and mail it back to Chris and I. So, we've had our original documents back for the last couple of days - they were able to send it all back to us BEFORE PEI could even get it together in their own office!
So, I sweetly offered to bring in the copy of our dossier that we were able to get back from ETHIOPIA to save her office some time. Since it's the exact replica of documents and paperwork we REDID for this adoption, with the exception of the homestudy (it was changed to reflect a boy from China instead of a girl from Ethiopia).
She was not pleasant to talk to on the phone. Tomorrow I am sending an official complaint to her supervisor and the supervisor above him. I am so sick to death of their power trips and deliberately delaying processes. The bottom line is this...our dossier needs to be photocopied, a letter needs to be typed up and then signed by the Director. I make a living as an Adminstrative Assistant - I know what it takes to photocopy papers - hmmm about 1/2 hour to get the dossier completely copied (it has a lot of pages). I also know how long it takes to do up a form letter that has already been saved on your computer - you just add the name to it - hmmm...about 1 minute. Yet, somehow in the last 3 weeks the Adminstrative Assistant hasn't found 31 minutes to get it done! And today, the excuse is a power outage. Yes, very professional.
At the end of the call, R. said she would call me when our dossier was sent - maybe by the END OF THIS WEEK, or maybe not!!!!!! I seriously want to throw up.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
still nothing...
Till then....
Monday, January 28, 2008
Adoption Update
Last Tuesday we met with the Provincial Adoption Coordinator and were told everything was ready to go in our dossier.
The next day, Wednesday, our Social Worker called to say they had to order a new "child protection check" and that it would be done that day. It takes one day to get back.
Fast foward to Friday (last week) and I met with the Adoption Coordinator again and she told me that our file HAD NOT been sent yet but her secretary was bringing papers to be signed that day and that she thought our letter of approval would be signed. She also said that our file would either be sent Friday (last week) or Monday (today).
I called her secretary today to confirm our dossier had been sent and to our shock she says our "child protection check" hadn't been done yet. What??? I asked her, politely at first, what the hold up was. I told her we were told that was to be done LAST Wednesday. She made some noises but didn't really say anything. Then I asked her if the Director had signed our Letter of Approval last Friday and she acted very confused by this and said "No" as if to say "why would he have signed it?" I said to her, not so polite anymore, "what is going on? We were told you were sending papers for him to sign on Friday. We were told our "child protection check" had been ordered last Wednesday. We have been working our butts off to make sure every piece of paperwork was REDONE and passed into YOUR office as quickly as possible and now you aren't doing anything with our file?" The secretary just kept saying, "We'll call you when we send it" I said to her "I know you'll call me but what good does that do me if it takes you weeks and months to get it sent!!"
I am really furious! There is no reason for them to be dragging their feet on this. We have done EVERYTHING they have asked us to do and we have done it quickly and efficiently. It really ticks me off because they know we can't see our official referral UNTIL they send our dossier to our agency. They know our referral is waiting for us and they don't care...in fact, I'm going to go so far and say they know our referral is waiting and they are making sure we don't see it anytime soon! Because it's all in their control and they are choosing to delay this!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
What are your plans for Valentine's Day?
Friday, January 25, 2008
So Proud!
I do the music at all of Dylan's home games so Alyssa and I spend a lot of time in the music room at the rink. Sometimes I can talk Caleb into being the DJ and then I get to watch the game and cheer. I enjoy doing the music though, and Dylan's team loves to have music during the game so it's worth it.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Alyssa's GOTCHA DAY Anniversary!
When we saw Alyssa for the first time, she was being held by a nanny and she was crying hard. The director called our names to come forward and we knew this was the moment. I couldn't stop crying but when Alyssa saw me, she stopped crying and actually put her arms out to me and leaned away from her nanny. It was like she had been waiting for me to come and get her and she knew I was her mommy!
You can go here to read all about it...this post was written the day we received Alyssa. Scroll down until you see "Day 4 - Gotcha Day".
Oh...it brings back so many memories...I hope all of you who are waiting to hold your children for the first time will have it happen very soon!
ALSO... a huge THANK YOU to the many, many friends who emailed me to hear "the story". It was really nice to be able to share it with you and share some of our stress! You are such great friends!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
A little bit of this and that...
Adoption news...
Chris and I (and all the kids) met with our Provincial Adoption Coordinator yesterday to make sure everything was in place for our new dossier! It is complete! And it should be sent off right away...she said she couldn't give us an answer on when, though! Why not??? Everything is there and ready to go???? Why can't it be sent TODAY??????
This is the good news...we have the most AMAZING agency ever!! They have been so great to deal with my panicked phone calls and my high level of stress trying to get all our paperwork redone in record time! Once we send China our "Letter of Acceptance", we need to wait for a "letter of confirmation" from China. This has been taking up to 4 months!!! It takes about 4 months because the adoption offices (CCAA) in China have to search through thousands of dossiers to find the right one as most times families send their dossiers FIRST to China and then months later get matched with a Waiting Child. Well, for us, our dossier is going to CCAA with our letter of Acceptance so no one has to search through thousands of files to find our dossier. Clear as mud?? The bottom line is: this will shave off at least a couple of months for us which means we can travel quicker. We are still hoping to travel with a group in June but we'll see how the timeline all works out.
Also, I have a story I want to share so bad but I can't post it on the internet because you never know who will be reading it!!! If you want to hear the story you can email me at tammymackinnon@pei.sympatico.ca and I will send out a mass email to everyone who wants to hear it. The adoption community will get the seriousness of the situation probably better than others but still...a heartstopping story for me!
When oh when will I be able to post pictures of our new son????????????????????????????
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
PAY IT FORWARD
-
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Lump of Clay
Wet it, pat it
Make a statue of you
And a statue of me.
Then shatter them, clatter them
Add some water,
And break them and mold them
Into a statue of you
And a statue of me.
Then in mine are bits of you
And in you there are bits of me.
Nothing shall ever keep us apart.
Kuan Tao Shang
(Sung Dynasty)
**
Chris and I handed in all our new paperwork on Friday and our Social Worker handed in our new homestudy and new reference letters. All we need now is the Letter of Approval from our Province. I know it's not a problem to be approved, it's a matter of how long it takes for them to write the letter for us. We would really like to get all our documents sent to our agency on Tuesday and then we could have our referral by Friday...you know what that means...PICTURES!!!!
Our agency directors are in China and they are going to visit the orphanage where our little guy is from. They will be finding out some information on his speech and if he has some speech issues. They are also checking hearing and teeth as both of those can be problematic in cleft children. We are not anticipating anything major but we want to be prepared. We want to have our hospitals and speech teams prepared here in PEI as well! Hopefully when they visit our little guy they will get updates on his measurements and more pictures. They are also taking a care package to him for us and we've done a beautiful scrapbook of our family - I had it lamenated so he could use it like a book.
I am getting more and more anxious every day...the kids are, too. They are talking about their little brother everyday and thinking of all the great things they can do together.
Right now, the boys and Alyssa are thinking up ways to save up money or earn money so they can pay their airfare to China. It would be our dream if we could all go together to pick up our little guy. I know it would make his transition a lot easier to have children to play with and run around with. So...we'll see what happens in the next few months....
So excited...
Tammy
Friday, January 18, 2008
Our Caleb...
Caleb is an amazing boy who has a heart of gold. He is so full of compassion for the "underdog" and always makes an effort to be friends with kids who might not have many friends or who get teased. He is well liked by everyone and his teachers always say he is respected and liked by all his peers.
He is funny - loves to be the class clown, that's why his desk is at the front, by the teachers!!
He is an amazing artist - every year his teachers are blown away by his artistic ability. When he was in grade 1 and he was printing everything, he would make each letter into a picture...yes, it took FOREVER for him to complete his work!! Even now, in grade 6, he has to work hard at not doodling and drawing all over his school work. The teachers let him have a special drawing scribbler in his desk so that when he's completed his work he can pull it out and draw in it.
Caleb loves music - he is a very good singer (just like his Dad!) and he is learning to play the acoustic and electric guitar. He loves it! He wants to be in a band someday (again, just like his dad!).
Caleb LOVES to tell stories...this is probably what Caleb is most famous for...his unending stories...stories that he makes up in his head, stories of shows he's watched, stories about dreams he's had, stories about fantasty, monstors, war, anything and everything. I am NOT exaggerating. It can be exhausting listening to him. And his stories go on and on and on...
The sweetest thing we had ever seen...
Caleb with his foster brother - about 2 1/2 years old. His foster brother is really like his big brother and lived with us for 6 years. He also spends every Christmas with us.
Gorgeous Caleb...
Caleb - 11 years old...wearing the famous shirt "Handsome is an understatement". I love it! (and him!)
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Find Your Wings...
Enjoy... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knm492yxMfo
Tammy
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Nothing to report yet...
Will keep everyone updated...
Monday, January 14, 2008
Weekends...
Well...I was finally able to talk with our Provincial Adoption Coordinator today and she was really great! We are able to use all our papework they have on file for our Ethiopian adoption (except we need original police checks - but not Interpol clearance!). Our Social worker has finished our new homestudy to reflect our desire to adopt a boy from China rather than a girl from Ethiopia :-)
So, back to the whole Waiting Child issue - again! The province now has to come up with some sort of legal agreement between PEI's legal counsel and our agency, Family Outreach International, so Chris and I can be matched with the child from our agency. It's not a difficult issue, it's just one that can take time. We want to be able to travel with the rest of the group in June so we don't want any delays! Of course, "delay" is the name of the game in adoption :-)
So, it looks like everything will move quickly and our dossier will be ready to submit to the Province for China approval on Wednesday or Thursday. We are hoping our agency can send our official referral this week now that the Province knows we are committing to adopt the little boy and we've already been approved to adopt by the Province.
Stay tuned....
Saturday, January 12, 2008
New look...lots of excitement...
Our social worker is completing our amended homestudy this weekend and I'm getting all our paperwork done -mostly it's just new copies of things (birth certificates, marriage license, letters of employment, etc...). I still haven't been able to confirm with the Province that Chris and I are going this route - I tried calling all day yesterday but when our Provincial Adoption Coordinator finally called me back at 5:00, I was at hockey with Dylan. So, on Monday we will talk with her and arrange a meeting so we can get this show on the road!
I can't wait until we have pictures we can post! I'm hoping maybe by the end of next week the Province will let our agency mail us our official referral and we can find out more information and have photos to share!!!
Chris and I have realized WHY God took us down this path. We kept asking, why would we have to pursue Ethiopia, request a girl, etc...and THEN have it revealed to us that we were meant to adopt a little boy from China?? Well, over the past couple of days I keep thinking of different things to worry about - we've missed 5 years of his life, he's not a baby so we can't snuggle him and rock him and do all the things that make bonding easier, we won't be able to communicate very well, just lots of different things that would normally stress me out.
If Chris and I had chosen China back in September I KNOW myself well enough to know that I would be doubting our decision to adopt a 5 year old and all the issues that come with that. Now, we have perfect peace that God chose this little boy for us so we don't have to worry whether it's going to be okay or not. We KNOW it will be okay because God has chosen him for us!!! Isn't that awesome - to go into this adoption with a peace and absolute certainty that it will be okay! Any obstacles we may face with him will be okay because it was meant to be! And we know there will be obstacles - there is with every child and certainly with every adoption. But, we have absolute faith that God is in this with us and is loving our little boy even more than we possibly can!
Oh the possibilities....
Friday, January 11, 2008
Our Miracle...
First the very sad news...
Chris and I have decided we absolutely have to put our Ethiopian adoption on hold - we are pretty sure we are going to stop the adoption all together but for right now, we are putting it on hold.
A very comman (and true) theme in our adoption circles is this: The child that is meant to be yours will come to you at the right time.
Adopting parents say this over and over because there is no rhyme or reason to when people get referrals, delays that happen in each process, children that are available that may be different than what you requested, etc... There are lots of reasons to believe the child that is meant for you comes to you. So, on that theme...PLEASE READ BELOW!!!
.
The very exciting news...
We are in the process of finalizing the adoption of a little boy from China!!!! This has happened so quickly and this child seemed to drop in our laps out of no where! I will try to explain some of the coincidences and events over the last week/months so you can see for yourself how GOD HAS BROUGHT US THIS BOY!
After adopting Alyssa, my dream has always been to adopt from China again. Part of my heart will always be in China - I fell in love with China and my heart ached for the many children needing families there.
While Chris and I were in China, we had 2 families in our travel group who adopted 4 year old children. I remember sitting outside our hotel room, watching the children play, and I said to Chris, "if we ever adopt again, we need to pursue an 'older' child". We also agreed we would adopt through the Waiting Child Program (children with minor, correctible medical needs).
Adoption wasn't possible for us over the last 3 years because my husband was not ready. So, our family started a charity to support chinese orphans. I have advocated for adoption in general, and specifically for chinese adoptions, for 3 years - some people might even say I've been "relentless".
Fast foward to September 2007 (yes, just 4 months ago!). Chris and I were faced with a decision - do we choose to adopt from the Waiting Child Program through China or do we adopt from Ethiopia. We had done a lot of research with agencies and other families about Ethiopian adoptions and felt it was a definite possibility for us. We also longed to adopt from China again as our hearts were in China and we felt it would be wonderful for Alyssa and our newly adopted child to have a sibling from the same country, culture, situation, etc...
In September, we approached our Province about the Waiting Child Program and we were informed PEI was not allowing families to adopt through this program in the traditional way (agencies matching families and children). Instead, we would have to go through CCAA, which would take about 3 years! Chris and I were not prepared to wait 3 years for a referral. So, we decided to adopt from Ethiopia.
The PEI Adoption Coalition was formed and I was asked to be the spokesperson for this group. We worked HARD to get PEI to find another alternative for the Waiting Child Program. Finally, in December, the Adoption Coalition receieved confirmation that PEI would allow families to adopt from the Waiting Child Program and would allow agencies to help with the matching.
By this time, Chris and I are well into our Ethiopian adoption - BUT, for those of you reading my blog over the last few months, there were MANY delays. Delays with getting Provincial approval, delays with our file in Ottawa, delay with getting our file sent to Ethiopia. All along I had been posting that I thought we would have referral by Christmas. Well, our file only made it to Ethiopia on Dec 21st so there was no chance of a referral at that time!
Now, it's January 7th and I read on an adoption board that our agency (the one we used for Alyssa's adoption) has a file for a 4 1/2 year old boy and they can't find a family for him. IMMEDIATELY, my heart stopped. Chris and I had discussed with this agency (back in September) that we were interested in adopting a preschool boy with a minor medical need. Now, we hear there is 1 file left and it's exactly what we were looking for!!!
So, I also immediately think to myself "This is impossible because PEI does not allow us to do 2 adoptions at the same time AND we've already invested all our resources in our Ethiopian adoption!!"
But, the next day, a family who knows us personally called us on the phone to tell us there was a boy needing a family from China (they had also heard about this little boy through the adoption boards). Of all the people in the entire universe, why would someone call ME??
So, I called our Province and they said they thought it would be okay for us to pursue the adoption from China and we could put our Ethiopian adoption on hold. We called Kids LInk and they said we could definitely put our adoption on hold and as soon as we were ready, we could activate it again. WOW, this was exciting!! I thought, "God is opening up doors for us to do this adoption!".
But, $$ came into the picture. How could we POSSIBLY afford another adoption?????? We had used every last cent and bit of credit we had to finance our Ethiopian adoption. The money tree was dead!!! The other major issue was that of adopting 2 children so close together and having 5 children. This was more of an issue with my husband but it is something that we seriously needed to consider. What could we handle, what was best for the children in our home, what was best for our newly adopted children...
I found out from the China agency exactly how much it would cost to adopt this little boy - including country fees, airfaire, accomodations, document fees, translation fees, etc... and got the totatl amount. WOW! It was actually not as bad as we thought. But, still thousands of dollars!
I then called Kids Link and they told me how much they could refund us some of our money if we chose to stop our adoption. It was like God hitting me over the head saying "HAVE I GIVEN YOU ENOUGH SIGNS YET???"
Without one tiny shred of doubt, Chris and I knew we were supposed to adopt the little boy from China.
Another stange thing is how God prepared our hearts for a little boy - remember how much we loved our little foster boy and he had to leave on Christmas Eve - I was so devestated and sad. God prepared our family for a son and brother!
So, we don't have much information to share as we haven't received his official referral. We need to get our documents to our China agency and then they will give his referral to our Province.
Here is what we do know...
1. He's a boy!
2. He's almost 5 years old!
3. He has a reparied cleft lip and palate.
4. We should be able to travel to China in 6 months to bring him home forever!!!
5. Our children are ABSOLUTELY THRILLED with adopting a brother and are really excited that he is "older" and can play with them.
Praise God! I am in awe of how He works. He knew ALL ALONG that he had a specific child in mind and even though we made the wrong decisions at every turn - He still made it possible for the little boy to join our family!
If you haven't believed in God before this post, YOU MUST NOW!!!
I am so happy!
Tammy
Thursday, January 10, 2008
On the brink...
Whichever decision we end up making will come with extrememly exciting news as well as sad news so that's why this decision is so difficult!!!
Thank you for your support out there!!! Most of you are people I haven't even met in person yet you make me feel so encouraged and understood - I really, truly thank you for that!!!!
Tammy
PS...check back tomorrow because I'm hoping I can post something more concrete about our situation!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Help!!!
“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me"
~John 14:1~
“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."
~John 14:27~
More later...
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
A bit of adoption news...
Our referral still hasn't come BUT I did find out what happens when it does come. When we received our referral from China, it was sent to PEI first and then PEI sent it to our agency in ON to be translated and THEN it came back to PEI. Only after that (about 2 extra weeks) were Chris and I able to finally review our referral and see our sweet daughter's face! I was thinking it would be the same for the Ethiopian referral but luckily the referral comes already in English so we get to review it as soon as PEI gets it - we don't have to wait the extra 2 weeks!!! So, that's a huge relief for us!
Little boy in Kenya
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Our Anniversary...
We got married January 6th and a year later we had our son, Caleb on Jan 18th. 3 months later we graduated from University. Now that was a very difficult 3 months!!!
Family Photo a few years later...
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Our Family's Charity
Another picture of Alyssa in her orphanage - she is the one in front with the pink sweater - she is about 14 months old in this picture. About 1 month before we adopted her.
Two Homes One Heart grew quickly as more people became aware of our projects and fundraisers. We now have a group of 4-7 people who meet together to talk about fundraising initiatives and projects. We have expanded our projects to THREE orphanages in Yongzhou City and we are also helping with Faith Village in Ethiopia (this is a project through our adoption agency) and we are raising funds to support the smaller orphanages in Ethiopia. We also have 2 projects for children living here in PEI - a "heart to heart" project for foster children where children coming into care receive a loving care package and personal note and we do baby formula drives for our local food banks collecting 400 cans of baby formula, packages of diapers and baby food.
This has been an incredible way to have our children involved in our community and in reaching out to others in kindness and compassion. Last year, our son, Caleb asked for donations for his birthday rather than gifts and he donated all his birthday money for brandnew snowsuits for the 40 children living at Alyssa's orphanage.
We are in the process of obtaining our charity status - can you believe a local lawfirm has offered to do this for us pro bono - that is amazing!!! We are also in the process of doing a real website (we currently have a blog dedicated to this charity) and we continue to hear from more orphanages and families needing our help. By next year, we hope to have full charity status with many fundraising initiatives on the go so we can support more and more precious children.
If you would like to join us in "sharing our love" with children all over the world...this is what you can do...
*If you have a child from a particular orphanage and would like to give back to the children and nannies living there, let me know and we will work on setting up a program at your child's orphanage
*If you have a talent to sew, paint, scult, etc....consider donating items to our Art Auctions and sales. We have been selling handmade blankets and knit items with 100% of the proceeds going to the orphanages. We are currently preparing to send a care package to Alyssa's orphanage and it is filled with beautiful, fleece, cozy, handmade blankets. Our next big event is FEBRUARY 16th and we would love to have items for our auction - so if you're talented - you can help!!
*Hold a fundraiser in your town or city for Two Homes One Heart - I have tons of ideas so send me an email and we can talk about lots of ways to raise money.
*Donate financially to Two Homes One Heart
*PRAY for all the children who need families, for the children who will live their lives in an orphanage - we can help make it a wonderful childhood for them, pray for the nannies who care for the children and pray for the birth families who cannot care for their children.
Enjoy the pictures below...the new playground at Alyssa's orphanage....Don't forget to check out the charity blog to read more about the orphanages we are helping and what the needs for the oprhanage are!!! Thanks!
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Sleepover Extravaganza!
So, our 10 year old niece and our 2 nephews (8 and 5) came over to "party all night" as they were saying!
The night started off with everyone making their own pizzas and then chowing down!
All our kids LOVE to dance so we spent the next while dancing like crazy to our favorite songs and playing some "Freeze Dance". So much fun!
Next, we turned out all the lights for a little "Ghost in the Graveyard" (hide and seek in the dark). And then we played an old favorite, TWISTER. Who doesn't love Twister??!!
After all that fun, we spread out our blankets, sleeping bags and pillows and settled down for a movie. A very great night...maybe we will make this a yearly Christmas tradition. I know all the kids were counting down the days until the sleepover and were really excited about it so perhaps it's a really special gift after all!
Goodnight everyone....
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Adoption vs biological...
I don't actually know or remember how we finally agreed to adopt the first time...Chris probably gave me a tiny bit of positive feedback and then I ran with it booked the social worker :-) I just remember being so excited that we were actually going to adopt! I really don't think anyone believed we would actually adopt until we got Alyssa's referral. It just seemed like something we always talked about but I think people were like..."yeah, we'll believe it when we see it".
Since our first adoption, I have been absoultely convicted about adoption and really believe every family should consider it. Chris and I would never have another biological child - don't get me wrong...we are so happy with our boys....but there are so many children already here in this world waiting for families. How could we have another biological child when there are so many needing us right now??
Last year, our family started a charity organization called "Two Homes One Heart" so we could support the children who were still living at Alyssa's orphanage in Hunan, China. It was a way to stay connected with Alyssa's roots but also a way for all of us to touch other children's lives - especially since we cannot adopt them all. We wanted to make a positive impact in these children's lives and we wanted to share our love with many more children.
When we decided to adopt again...I STILL got asked "why do you want to adopt another one???" I would think to myself "how can they ask that after knowing Alyssa!!" I can't explain it except I look at so many children who need families and I see my own children in them. Alyssa was an orphan and now she is our daughter. There are so many "Alyssa's" out there...I see orphaned children and I think about Caleb and Dylan and what it would be like if they didn't have us...what would they feel like...what would I want for them...would I want a family to love them and cherish them every single day? Absolutely!
We don't adopt children to "save them" - we adopt children because we are filled with conviction that we need them and they need us - we are not perfect parents or a perfect family but together we create a unit of love, family, happiness, fun, comfort and togetherness.
I love adoption!