Sigh...this is a hard post to write...
I have been praying, begging, pleading, wishing for a Christmas miracle! My sights have only been focused on our adoption and how quickly it could happen. The money is simply not there for us to send our file to Ethiopia. Perhaps only those who are adopting will truly understand the desperation we feel in wanting to get our file to Ethiopia. Without our file being in Ethiopia there is NO CHANCE to be matched with our daugther. So, to put it mildly, I was completely distraught yesterday - I just couldn't understand why this was happening to us. Why wouldn't God have provided my Christmas miracle???? Chris and I had a long talk last night (and I talked with a few of my friends as well :-)) and we decided all we could do was pray for peace about our file and our daughter. Everything else is out of our control. We need to focus on what IS in our control - well, I started thinking about the miracles I DO HAVE this Christmas.
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We have our own 3 children who we absolutely adore but God has also given us 2 more children to spend our Christmas with. We have a 2 year old foster son now and we are also having our 18 year old "son" stay with us for Christmas. (our 18 year old "son" lived with us for 6 years and is now living on his own). These 2 children have been brought to us because they need a safe, loving family and home. How incredible is it that we will now be able to share our love and happiness with 2 extra children this Christmas!!! They will be part of a family that loves them, smiles with them and makes them feel they are wanted! They will be able to take part in our family traditions, our Christmas Eve fun, the excitement of Christmas morning, the security and comfort of being together in a real family.
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So, even though my agency emailed me today saying our file will be ready to send to Ethiopia any day (possibly even today!!), we cannot send it as we don't have the rest of our financing ready. But, I look around at the beautiful, precious children in my home today and realize,
perhaps God did give me my very own Christmas miracle!
Update: Our agency called and our file is officially ready to go to Ethiopia...yet we can't send it off till we have all our money.
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1 comment:
Ohh Tammy, I'm so sorry. I wish I could win the lottery so I could give your family the money that you need for this. Adoption is so difficult and its terrible that the only thing standing in your way now is stupid money. :-(
I will be thinking about you and your family and wishing for you to find the means to get that dossier to Ethiopia.
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