Let it SNOW!

Chris' brother and his family just live one street over in our subdivision so the cousins all get to play together whenever they want. Their kids are the same age as our kids so it really works out well. Yesterday they came up for some sledding and snow fun!

Cousin Lauren and Dylan getting ready for a wild ride...

~ My gorgeous Caleb ~

I got Caleb and Dylan shirts for Christmas that say "Handsome is an understatement" - the boys just rolled their eyes and said "Mom!" but I love the shirts and I'm sure all the girls at school agree with me :-)

Three of them ready to head down the hill...

~ Our beautiful Alyssa ~

~ My gorgeous Dylan ~

**Chris and I went to see the movie, PS. I Love You yesterday and it was fantastic. It was just such a good movie and it really made us thankful for our lives and each other. It's a MUST see!!

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**Happy New Year to everyone...we hope this is a wonderful year for everyone.

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-Let Jesus be more real in our lives every day

-Let us always be thankful for our precious children (and those to come!!)

-Remember to keep perspective on what stresses us out

-Strive to touch another person's life in a positive way

Positive Vibes

Okay...from now on, I am focusing on all the things I have in my life that are positive, wonderful and bring me joy. The last few months have been difficult and I'm tired of having the "poor me" syndrome. And actually, that's not my style at all! I'm usually upbeat and positive so I need to refocus...I was sick over Christmas - very sick - I spent 4 straight days in bed and I think it's exactly what I needed to heal my body, heart and spirit!!!

My parents visited us for a few days and I think they sensed an unhappiness in me. They went out and bought me a Christian book called "Having a Mary heart in a Martha world" which is based on the bible verses about the sisters, Mary & Martha and their visit with Jesus. I am DEFINITELY a "Martha" and pretty much take the weight of the world on my shoulders. I should really be more like a "Mary" and sit back and hear Jesus in my life.
(Thanks Dad & Lynn!)

Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her"
(Luke 10:38-42).

I am so excited about what's in store for our family!!!

Belated Merry Christmas

I've been out of commission for the last 4 days - absolutely sick, sick, sick. I haven't been this sick for more than 9 years! I didn't even get to enjoy the kids opening their gifts yesterday morning as I had to make too many trips to the bathroom hugging the toilet :-(

I'm slowing starting to feel better...I made it out of bed for more than 10 minutes today so that's a good sign.

Our little guy left on Monday - the kids were here with me - it was a really sad day for all of us and I keep finding his things all over the house (sippy cup in the fridge, socks in the laundry, diapers in the drawer)...our prayer is he is safe and completely loved!

More later...I should have some photos to post...if Chris took some...

Loving a child...

We found out our news on Friday and it turns out it is sad news. A little boy (he's 2) who has been living with us for awhile now is leaving. They are taking him on Christmas eve to go back and live with some family members. As a foster parent, it is very difficult not to become attached to the children we care for in our homes. Especially the little ones. We have loved this little boy so much - each day is full of hugs and kisses, singing songs, playing, bath time, nurturing, comforting him at night - all of us, including our children have absolutely adored this little boy. Chances are we will not see this little boy again.

Many of you have met this little boy and have seen how much he is a part of our family. How much he adores Chris and LOVES the kids. Sweet, sweet boy...

My head always tells me these children are not mine to keep but my heart never listens. How can I be the "mommy" to a child and not completely love them? I can't.

So, on Christmas eve he will go. So much for my christmas miracle.

JACKPOT!

Today it shows our file was delivered and signed for! We are 100% officially expecting again!!! I'm going to change the ticker to today as being our first day waiting for referral as this is the first day our file will be reviewed to be matched with our daughter.

Who will she be??

It arrived!

Our file finally arrived in Addis Ababa and right before our agency closed for Christmas! At least it's safe and sound and we've heard the orphanage director will still be reviewing files over Christmas so that's positive news.

Tomorrow is the day we hear the news we are waiting on...I'm 99% sure the news will be not good - very, very sad news actually so I'm not really sure what to say or write. I'll post more tomorrow when we find out for sure.

It's so close!

So our file was supposed to be sent last Friday to Ethiopia so of course, I've been tracking it like crazy only to see NOTHING change for 3 days. We finally found out late Monday afternoon that is hadn't left Charlottetown yet. Do we have the best luck or what???!!! The Province made some phone calls for us and now I'm happy to say our file is well on its way. It left Frankfurt, Germany this morning so hopefully next stop is Addis Ababa??? They told me it should be there today. So, that's great. Now the hard part...I don't have any control over anything anymore...no more paperwork to get ready, no more money to scrounge up, no more tracking the progress of my file...now we wait to hear from our agency or Province about a referral. Kids Link is still saying 2-4 months but I'm really being optimistic for a much shorter time because of the age we are requesting (2-3 years old). It's all in God's hands now!

Tonight is Alyssa's first dance recital - we are so excited. Chris is already worried about how he will make it through without crying - too cute! Alyssa is very pumped!

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Less than 1 week 'till Christmas! WOW, how did that happen?! We are waiting to hear some very important news on Friday - it could turn out to be fantastic news or very, very sad news. I'll let you know more when we find out.

The girls

The boys

The Impossible...

I've changed my blog header to reflect our feelings on this particular adoption...

When I stop to think that our adoption is really happening, I cannot believe it! If you had asked me (or my husband!) even 8 months ago if we would adopt again I would have sadly said "No" and my husband would have emphatically said "No!". After 3 years of daily "harassing" my husband about adopting again, praying God would change his heart, praying for the impossible to happen, we are actually on the journey to another precious child!

My husband said 4 children was enough (we have 3 but always have a foster child living with us).
He said it was way too much money to adopt
He said we wouldn't have the financial resources to raise another child.
He said he didn't want to be "old" and have a baby. (Umm, he's only just turned 36)
He said that even if he agreed to adopt "just one more time", it wouldn't be enough for me and I would continue on my adoption quest forever. (by the way...he wants me to sign a contract that this will be our last adoption - ha ha ha...not a chance!)
He said we couldn't adopt the world.
He said it was way too much money!!!
He said it was way too much money!!
He said it was way too much money and we're still trying to bounce back from our last adoption.

This is what I heard "blah blah blah". Just kidding...I could not listen to his "reasoning" because no child's life should ever be measured by money. I also knew that Chris is and would be the most amazing father. He adores all his children and he makes each one feel like they are the most special child on earth! He loves them, encourages them, plays with them, talks with them, reads to them, spends time with them, gives them advice...Even the foster children we have had in our home still call and visit because of the love they were shown.

I have had TONS of emails, visits and phone calls from families all over wanting to adopt. The #1 reason I hear for men not wanting to adopt is MONEY. It is so sad that we would stop pursuing a child becasue of money. And let's face it, in America (Canada) we have more than enough, even when we think we don't! Are you really going to starve or lose your house if you set aside money for an adoption? Would it be the end of the world if you added a part time job for 10 months of your life to bring a child to their family? Would it be too much to ask to step out of your comfort zone and hold a fundraiser to bring your child home? What else would you like to spend your money on? What will you buy that will make you happier or give you more joy than the love of a child?

If money is your reason for not adopting, EMAIL ME and I will find a way to fundraise your adoption. I am NOT kidding!!!!

ASK for the impossible, BELIEVE the impossible, SEE the impossible happen.

God loves to do the impossible.

Each child deserves to have the impossible done for them!

Watch this video...this is what impossible looks like!

Alyssa's Gotcha Day - January 24, ,2005

A short video I made...

This is a short video I made for our Dinner and Dance fundraiser held for our adoption. Special thanks to Julie and Lisa who let me use some of their beautiful pictures from their trip to Ethiopia!

Finally...good news...

UPDATE on the Update :-) - It's now 8:43 pm and I just received an email from our adoption office saying our file WAS picked up tonight! I have a tracking # for the package so hopefully I can see with absolute certainty that our file is ON THE MOVE!!!

Trying to stay optimistic I will post something uplifting and positive!

I found a song that I really like and the words are very sweet...for all my children...and for my daughter waiting for me in Ethiopia...

It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth
And If I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow...

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

From "Find Your Wings" by Mark Harris

I can't believe this!!

Our file is still not sent to Ethiopia!!!! We talked with Kids Link on MONDAY and had all our money deposited into their account so they could send our file. Well, I find out on Tuesday they didn't send it because they had the wrong street address for PEI's office. So, it arrives in PEI on Wednesday and I call the office to make sure it has arrived and that they will send it ASAP. I get an email from them last night saying the courier DID NOT pick up our file but would definitely pick it up on Thursday (which is TODAY). It is now 4:27 and we have not received word yet that our file is on its way. They were supposed to email us as soon as the file was picked up and give us the tracking #. I've emailed them and called them several times today and no one will answer!!!! I really can't believe this! It should have been sent on Tuesday and it's now Thursday and it's still not gone and probably won't be until tomorrow!!!!!

DELAYS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!

UPDATE: It's now 5:40 pm and I heard from our Provincial Adoption Coordinator - our file definitely DID NOT get picked up today by their courier service. I called the courier service myself to find out why it wasn't picked up and found out that the company had a pick up order for YESTERDAY and it's now past closing TODAY and they still didn't do the pick up. The customer service rep insists it will be picked up tomorrow. Well, that's nice but what consolation is that when the courier service (that's supposed to be quick and efficient!!) is 2 days late picking up the file???!!! They are now quoting it will take 3-4 days for our file to get to Ethiopia - well, once they finally get to the place and PICK IT UP!!!!

Can we all go???

Chris and I have talked lots about when it's time to travel to Ethiopia. All along, Chris has said that he is not going to go as he really doesn't want to leave the kids for that long again (like when we went to China). I've been saying for months that I would really like ALL OF US to go - all the kids and both Chris and I. I think it would be an amazing trip for our family - not only because we will be together to meet our new daughter and sister but because we will be able to experience the culture and daily life of these incredible people. From what I've heard, the Ethiopian people are courageous, joyful and full of life even as they face incredible hardships with poverty and sickness. Our family is committed to helping as many children as we can in Ethiopia through Two Homes One Heart and being together in Ethiopia would be a life changing experience for all of us.

So, that's another area we need prayer! If all of us were to go it would cost about $7000 more than what we had planned. If you've been reading my last few posts, you will know how impossible that sounds! :-) Anyway...we have several months to make any decisions so this will be something I will be praying about, for sure!

We are all starting to feel the Christmas spirit now and getting excited about Christmas break! I'm glad there's snow 'cause we can go sledding over the break. Our kids love that!

I also found out that referrals WILL be happening over the Christmas break so maybe.....

Just had to post...

Okay...so everyone is feeling really bad for us because we have completely tapped out all our resources to get our file sent. (If you feel bad enough, see the donate button on the side - ha ha ha!) I just want to say that even though we are completely broke, and it's Christmas, we are so ELATED to finally have our file sent to Ethiopia. I really can't express what a feeling it is to have it on its way. We know we have a long wait ahead of us - probabably around 8 months before we travel (and for all my friends adopting from China I KNOW that is not a long time to you guys - I'm sorry!). But, with our file in Ethiopia, anything can happen now - like getting matched with our precious daughter!!! We could see her face within weeks! I really can't stop smiling! We've had some really amazing friends and family rally around us this weekend and help us with resources and support! Amazing!

So, remember my post a few days ago about Christmas miracles...we have our children safe and healthy here with us and now we are anticipating the arrival of another! How much better can it get?!

Oh, the blessings...

Since we heard the news yesterday about our file being ready to go to Ethiopia, my heart has not stopped pounding! (or my head - ha ha!) We have had to make some very difficult decisions about money and our file. As a mother, there is NO WAY I can let my file sit in PEI when my daughter is waiting for her family in Ethiopia. We know she is waiting, we have asked for 2-3 year old child. She is alive and breathing and needing us right now! We have completely tapped out every single resource we have but we can finally have our money ready on Monday!!!

I talked with the kids again today about Christmas.

This is what Alyssa said "All I want for Christmas is 100 million dollars and then I'll give it to my sister"

This is what Caleb said "Mom, only get me one gift. I am trying to be reasonable" (those were his exact words - hee hee!)

Dylan isn't home from school yet but yesterday he told me he would be happy if all he got was his iPod shuffle.

We found out someone will be giving us money to help with the 2 foster children we have now and over Christmas.

I also found out today that a $200 fee I was supposed to pay is being covered by someone else. They just called me to let me know I didn't have to worry about it, they would cover it.

A friend called me today and has a $200 monetary gift for us!

So, last night we stepped out on faith and maxed every last cent and already today I feel God easing our burdens.

Most importantly, mommy and daddy are going to come to you soon, sweet daughter!!!!

Our own Christmas Miracle

Sigh...this is a hard post to write...

I have been praying, begging, pleading, wishing for a Christmas miracle! My sights have only been focused on our adoption and how quickly it could happen. The money is simply not there for us to send our file to Ethiopia. Perhaps only those who are adopting will truly understand the desperation we feel in wanting to get our file to Ethiopia. Without our file being in Ethiopia there is NO CHANCE to be matched with our daugther. So, to put it mildly, I was completely distraught yesterday - I just couldn't understand why this was happening to us. Why wouldn't God have provided my Christmas miracle???? Chris and I had a long talk last night (and I talked with a few of my friends as well :-)) and we decided all we could do was pray for peace about our file and our daughter. Everything else is out of our control. We need to focus on what IS in our control - well, I started thinking about the miracles I DO HAVE this Christmas.
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We have our own 3 children who we absolutely adore but God has also given us 2 more children to spend our Christmas with. We have a 2 year old foster son now and we are also having our 18 year old "son" stay with us for Christmas. (our 18 year old "son" lived with us for 6 years and is now living on his own). These 2 children have been brought to us because they need a safe, loving family and home. How incredible is it that we will now be able to share our love and happiness with 2 extra children this Christmas!!! They will be part of a family that loves them, smiles with them and makes them feel they are wanted! They will be able to take part in our family traditions, our Christmas Eve fun, the excitement of Christmas morning, the security and comfort of being together in a real family.
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So, even though my agency emailed me today saying our file will be ready to send to Ethiopia any day (possibly even today!!), we cannot send it as we don't have the rest of our financing ready. But, I look around at the beautiful, precious children in my home today and realize,
perhaps God did give me my very own Christmas miracle!

Update: Our agency called and our file is officially ready to go to Ethiopia...yet we can't send it off till we have all our money.

Feeling pretty bummed...

Last night was a pretty tough night for me...I am trying so hard to stay upbeat and optimistic! And, in reality, I have so much to be thankful for. It is so hard to wait for our child when everything is completely out of our control. We are completely dependent on others to finally be united with our daughter. I keep trying to remember we have 4 beautiful children in our home right now to care for (3 of ours and one foster) and to love and to hug and kiss. I know there are many families waiting and longing for their very first child(ren) and that must be unbearable.

Our agency is closing down over Christmas and there is already a backlog of files waiting to be issued court dates, medicals, visas, etc...So, even if we do get a quick referral we will still have a LONG time to wait before we travel to Ethiopia. There is another family who has been waiting 8 months since her referral.

It's so easy to say "It's all God's timing" and I probably do believe this :-) but right now, my heart is sick! I just can't believe it's going to be so long....

Maybe tomorrow will bring better news...

Will we hear??

I'm waiting to hear back from our agency about our file. I am really praying she tells us our file is back from Ottawa and ready to be sent to Ethiopia. Wishful thinking??? I hope not. It's been 4 weeks! If it does come back today or tomorrow, it will still be another week or more before it gets to Ethiopia. Then, I'm sure things will slow down or shut down over Christmas so it's looking like we won't see our daughter's face until after the New Year.

Check out my cutie elves!!!

Click the link and see them perform - Caleb, Dylan and Alyssa! Just a little fun to get in the Christmas Spirit!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1147565400

Is this the week???

This week will mark 4 weeks that our file has been in Ottawa getting translated. It usually takes 2-3 weeks and it's even been as quick as 1 week! So, there are several other families who are waiting for their files as well...we've contacted each other and all our files were sent the same day. We are all really hoping to hear GOOD NEWS this week! Every week that goes by there is LESS chance we will see our daughter's face before Christmas. I am trying hard to believe and trust in the timing of this adoption - the right little girl for us will arrive at the Transition Home at the time our family's file arrives to be matched! I believe this, I just want to see her! :-)

Please let this be THE week!!!

Amazing Encouragement!

The verses listed below were talked about the other night at our Ladies' Bible Study and they have truly encouraged me!!! When we adopt orphans and see the state of so many children around the world, it breaks my heart...it sometimes leaves me feeling hopeless and useless. When I think about these children, their pain and suffering, their lonliness...I am overcome with such sadness! These verses truly spoke to my heart that NO MATTER WHAT our earthly life is like, God is our HOPE, our JOY, our PEACE. He loves us (and all the children of the world) WAY more than I could ever love them. I love that overwhelming victory is ours, overwhelming victory for each and every child (or adult) who suffers, is afraid, who is alone...how awesome is God's love!!! Amazing!
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Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loves us.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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Romans 8:35-39

**Please continue checking my post (below this post) on buying items from families who are trying to raise money for their adoptions. I keep adding more links and these families have some incredible products for you, your family and your friends. Help us spread the word!!!