Pictures from Easter Weekend

I finally got a chance to go through our Easter pictures and load them on the computer....

We stayed a night in Halifax and visited my sister. Yes, we agreed taking 1 child to China would be enough...a hotel room for 14 nights with 4 young children isn't really our idea of a great bonding experience with Evan :-)

Miss Alyssa

Dylan and Grampie George

Chris and I

Miss Alyssa

Our sweet kids...Easter morning

Screaming at the world...

I am still really struggling with my anxiety and anxiousness with this wait.

I just feel so overwhelmed with wanting people to understand and care about all the children who are broken, hurt, hopeless, orphaned, abandoned, unloved...sometimes I just want to scream it out loud "Don't you care? Doesn't anyone care?"

I was at Walmart the other day and there was little Chinese boy about 5 or 6. Alyssa happened to be standing near him and when I glanced over it was like I was sucker-punched. It just hit me that my son is waiting for me...he will look like this little boy...he and Alyssa will soon be playing together, shopping at Walmart together...and all of a sudden I just wanted to scream "My son is not here with me, doesn't anyone care?" "Can't anyone help me bring him home!"

I think I take it personally when people (whether I know them or not) don't feel this same passion or don't take a stand to help these children. Two of my precious children came to me orphaned, alone and longing for a family. I believe in their value, their potential, their sweetness, their joy, their love. I believe growing up in a nurturing home can make all the difference in their little lives.

It's personal because are my children not worthy of someone's time, effort and money to give them hope, love? My children represent 143 million orphaned children around this world.

Why are people not falling all over themselves to change the lives of these children????
How can we live each day in this society and not be compelled to do something to change the plight of millions of children???

If I had a baby in my arms and told people "you have to take care of this child or he will die..." or "you have to take care of this child or she will grow up broken, alone, hopeless, without anyone wiping her tears and sharing her laughter..." would people just look at the baby and walk away? Could they?

There has to be a way to change this...we are a society full of connected, wealthy, high-tech people...every person only has to give a little...can each person not sacrifice just a little????

I really need my son to come home...I really need to go to those children and hold them, love them, cherish them, provide nurture and care for them....who will join me?

Who wants a Wii?

IT COULD BE YOU!

Our 11 year old son, Caleb had the idea to have a raffle to help raise money for his brother's adoption. Together we decided on a Wii Raffle.

The Wii is so much more than a video game - it is a way for the whole family to interact, laugh, compete and have a great time together. Friends can get together for an afternoon or evening of fun and laughter. You can also load family photos and watch slideshows on the Wii. The Wii also plays Gamecube games so if you have those you can enjoy the fun on your new Wii!

Ticket donations are $5 each or 3 for $10 (or more if you are so inclined)

You could win: Brand new Wii System with controller and the amazing, popular Wii Sports game.

Draw Date will be Wednesday, April 30th. I posted a donate button on the right hand side so you can get tickets that way. ( I may change it to "Chip In") When you donate through paypal, we will send you a ticket number or numbers depending on how many you buy. I will videotape the draw as well.

You can also email me at tammymackinnon@pei.sympatico.ca if you would like tickets.

The money from this raffle will be given to our newest son's orphange - The Social Welfare Institute of Liuzhou in Guangxi. The money will be used to care for the many children at this orphanage, providing formula, food, clothing, beds, cribs, toys and many other necessities.

Our 9 year old son has a bowl-a-thon in the making so I'll let you know when that's set to go!

Also...thanks to those of you who left comments and called me in regards to my last post...I'm so glad you understand and know that I'm not losing my mind!!

Mood swings....

We just got back from Easter Weekend in Nova Scotia - Danielle, when we were passing through your area I really wished you still lived there so I could stop in and meet you and visit - especially with your fantastic news this week!!!

We had a great visit with my parents and my siblings and all our nieces and nephews!!! I'll post some pictures tomorrow.

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We haven't heard anything in regards to our adoption...no new updates on our file, no new updates on our little guy. I have even gone so far as to pay for the services of Blessed Kids and hope they are able to get some new pictures and recent measurements.

I am starting to get moments of panic...I'll be doing something "normal" like cleaning or driving somewhere or just doing everyday things and all of a sudden I'll be overcome with sadness and that panicky feeling parents get when they can't get to their children. Sometimes I get this feeling if my kids are staying overnight somewhere or at school and all of a sudden I stop and think "are they okay?" "I need to see them right away". Well, I've been getting those feelings or panic moments for the last week or so and I'm finding it really difficult to get through the days without the panic.

I guess for the first 7 weeks of knowing who "Evan" was we were busy getting paperwork done, having adoption meetings, homestudy meetings and just frantically working on getting everything submitted to CCAA. Now, for the last 3 weeks we've been doing nothing adoption related except waiting. Realistically, we still have 2-3 months left before we travel (unless a miracle happens!) and each day I feel time slipping away and Evan is getting older and closer to 6 years old. We are missing so much of his young life and it makes me extremely anxious.

I don't want to wish my life away but I want June to come NOW - I hate feeling this overwhelming sadness, anxiety and panic every day.

I'm really hoping we at least get an update soon - some pictures of his precious face so I can know he is real and alive! I'd love some updates on how he is doing and his measurements so I can actually buy a few things for him. I guess I'm desperate to feel like he's real and not just a photo.

Oh...when will I see you sweet boy????

March Break...

So, we're well into our March Break here in PEI. I have been looking foward to March Break for awhile now because it means I get a break as well from work (I work in the school system)...

So far things are going fairly well...some moments I keep asking myself, "why are we adding another child again???" The boys are trying to talk us into letting both of them come to China with us but I keep telling them I am not willing to meet my son for the first time ever while trying to break up an argument between them. Honestly, if they could make it through even 1/2 a day without bickering, fighting, being annoying to each other, I might actually consider taking both of them. But, at this point, we are only taking Caleb as I just can't imagine a 30 hour + trip with these 2 hooligans at each other's throats!!!!

Help us all!

This is what these sweet boys look like when they are begging us to take them both to China...

This is what they look like the minute we turn our backs...

Fourth Place

Today was the final day for the Hockey Provincials! Dylan's team lost in the semi-finals but can I just say they were AMAZING!! They worked their little butts off and really showed what an awesome team they are. Dylan scored 2 goals and just amazed us with his stick handling and determination.

Some of the moms wore our son's jerseys to show our support and cheer them on. (Teams have 2 jerseys - one for home games and one for away games). I don't think I've ever screamed so much in my life! (well, maybe during child birth - ha ha)

Me wearing Dylan's hockey jersey and cheering him on...and can I just say I was really proud (and relieved!) to be able to fit into my 9 year old's hockey jersey!!!

The best little hockey team around (in my books!)

WooHoo!

We are having a very EXCITING, INTENSE weekend of hockey! Whew! Dylan's team has made it the Semi-finals of Provincials! We have been cheering our hearts and lungs out for this amazing little team! Go Mustangs!
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Dylan was chosen as "Player of the Game" during the first game of Provincials so he was pumped to say the least!!!

Pumped Up!

The Cheering Section...

Alyssa cheering on Dylan

So proud of his little brother - Caleb and Dylan with the famous "Player of the Game" stick!

Dylan with his "Player of the Game" stick

It's Bragging Time!

Guess whose team made it to the PEI Atom Provincials???!!! See the cutie carrying the puck? …his team!

Dylan's team is #1 in their Division but they are up against some tough teams. It's going to be great fun to be at Provincials this weekend! Go Dylan! Go Mustangs!

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Caleb's team finished up their basketball season - they didn't win any of their games but they improved so much over the season and it was a blast to watch Caleb play. (I love b'ball - I also played during high school)

Caleb is that handsome boy in the front, holding the ball!

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Another thing for me to brag about....Dylan won the speed stacking competition for grade 4 (100+ kids) at his school with a time of 18 seconds! WooHoo! He has been asked to go to another school to demonstrate his skill and teach other children how to speed stack.

(For those who don't know what speed stacking is go here - it's a very cool game of stacking and unstacking cups - as quickly as possible!)

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Hey...another bragging point...I just received an email today from one of our foster children - he lived with us for about 8 months and he is 12 years old. He emailed me to let us know how he did on his report card - he got HONORS - no marks under 80% and the majority were in the 90's! See, I told you it was "bragging time".

Our kids are so amazing! They must take after their parents, right???!!! Ha ha ha.

Tagged!

Ha ha ha ha...I've been tagged by Danielle. I'm sure she tagged me so I would finally update my blog! Hee Hee! I started working full time (for a few weeks) and WOW, it's hard to find time to do my "blogging" - not just my blog but catching up with everyone else's news on their blogs!

So, for you Danielle, I will post...

Because I was tagged I have to share 10 random things about me (boring!)
Here are the rules:

Choose 5 people to tag and a reason you chose each person (can be totally nonsensical)
Leave them each a comment directing them to your blog so they know they are it.
You can't tag the person who tagged you.
As a courtesy to the person who tagged you, please let them know when you have posted so they can have the sheer delight and extra work load of reading your answers.

10 Random Things About Me:

1. My hair was always stick straight growing up and then after I had children it went curly. It's so curly that sometimes people think I've gotten a perm. So wierd...

2. I am an extreme neat freak (ask my husband). I cannot relax at home if there is anything out of place...if I see dirt on the floors or handprints on mirrors it actually fills me with anxiety and I have to clean it right away.

3. I had a 3.95 GPA in college (out of 4 in case you weren't sure) What's funny about that is I am known to be a scatterbrain and somewhat "dumb" about current events and really "important" things like politics, world news, science, math, history, etc.... I guess I was really great at memorization in college and did extremely well on tests and then forgot about it all after graduation. Go figure...buy, hey - ask me anything about adoption or the plight of children worldwide and I will know more than you ever wanted to know!!!

4. I love working as a Administative Assistant - I love the organizational part of the job and having lists that I can check off when things are accomplished. Again, another anal aspect of myself.

5. I am addicted to Diet Pepsi. I don't drink coffee or tea - I never have. I have never had even one cup of either coffee or tea but I drink Diet Pepsi every day (just one!). Last year I switched from regular pepsi to diet and I lost 16 pounds.

6. I have never been drunk. People have tried but I HATE the taste of alcohol and am really afraid of how crazy I'd be if I ever were to get drunk.

7. I have never had a cavity (and yes, I have all my real teeth!)

8. I love eating out and would eat out every night of the week if we could afford it! I don't really enjoy cooking and I find it hard to think of meals that everyone in our family enjoys. Going out is just so much more enjoyable. :-)

9. My deepest desire to take my family to Ethiopia or China or Dominican to live and work at an orphanage for at least 1 year.

10. I am probably one of the most competitive people you will ever meet.

So, now my turn to tag people... I tag Krista, Chase, Megan (private blog), Justine and Sam.

Have a great day!

Tammy

Who's the Man!

That would be my husband of course! Let me tell you why "he's the man"...

First of all, thank you for your advice yesterday in regards to the "job" situation! We really appreciate the input.

Chris has been offered 2 different jobs while working at a very great job - financially and career wise. But, the job is 45 minutes away so there's a lot of extra travel time and it is contract so he doesn't get sick days, benefits, etc...Basically, if he doesn't show up for work, he doesn't get paid.

Chris used to work from home as a Technical Writer and although it could be a bit hairy sometimes working from home with a houseful, it was a very flexible schedule for him and he was always home in the mornings and after school to be with the kids when I had to work. So, it was great! Then he got hired full time as a Technical Writer with a very reputable, cutting edge company and really enjoyed the work. But, the downfalls were the lack of flexibility, long drives, lack of benefits, etc..

So, he was offered 2 different jobs - both offering him more flexibility, benefits, very close to home, vacation time, sick/family days, etc...

He was really torn as to what to do because of the pay (you know...we are trying to pay for our adoption and raise several children so some months it doesn't matter how much you make - it's still tight!)

Well, he decided to accept a job offer with our Provincial Government and be closer to home and with flexibility so he can be here for the kids when I'm working. Step of faith on his part but we really felt it would ease a lot of stress in our family life and with his work.

The great news is...when Chris told his current employer and the other company he wouldn't be working for them, both companies offered him contract work on the side - which he can do from home on his own schedule! How perfect is that! Not only does he get a sweet job with the Government, he gets free lance work which will more than make up the salary difference!!

So, moral of the story...my husband is "the man" :-) and God continually shows his faithfulness to us in providing for our family!!!!

Need your advice!

If you were unhappy at your job (long hours, very inflexible schedule, no benefits) would you quit it and work at another job that was great (much better hours, much more flexible, great benefits & vacation package) BUT the job was less pay per year?

What would you do? Be honest...leave your answer/advice in the comments....they will be much appreciated!!!!!!

Officially waiting!

Our dossier was delivered to CCAA today so I have changed my "ticker" to show how long we will wait for our "Letter Seeking Confirmation". It can take as little as 1 month or as much as 4 months! Yikes! Our agency is very confident it will be short because we had a referral and an acceptance letter all together in our dossier. Here's hoping....

Heartbreak to Joy...

Adoption begins with heartbreak...a mother (and sometimes father) deciding she must give up her baby...adoption then becomes the greatest joy for another mother...

Our Joy of Adoption - Evan
Our Joy of Adoption - Alyssa

Everything To Me

I must have felt your tears
When they took me from your arms
I’m sure I must have heard you say goodbye
Alone and afraid had you made a big mistake
Could an ocean even hold the tears you cried?

But you had dreams for me,
You wanted the best for me
And you made the only choice you could that night

(Chorus)
You gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon and praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up but you gave everything to me

And if I saw you on the street,
Would you know that it was me
And would your eyes be blue or green like mine
Would we share a warm embrace
Would you know me in your heart
Or would you smile and let me walk on by
Knowing you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
Oh I hope that you’d be proud of who I am

And when I see you there
Watching from heaven’s gates
Into your arms I’m gonna run
And when you look in my eyes
You can see my whole life
See who I was...and who I’ve become

To see the video of this song, simply click on its title.

I had over 150 hits to my blog since I posted the "everyone can do something" post but only 1 person commented on how they make a difference - thanks Nikki!!! I know many of you reach out in different ways and I'd love to hear about it...others would love to hear about it...Lisa, I know you sell T-shirts to raise money for Ethiopian orphans, I know lots of you sponsor children from other countries, I'm sure many of you help out in your own communities...please leave comments to inspire all of us on how we can help others!

Thanks....